"I just want a hotdog"

normally i write my blogs in segments on each castaway.. there wasn't really a lot to discuss about very many of them in this week's show so its gonna be a little different than usual..

back in the day when Survivor had originally aired on Wednesday nights & the reunion show was hosted by Rosie O'Donnell & Bryant Gumball (Dear CBS, thank you for Jeff..) i was watching Survivor. Back when Survivor had a diverse cast even on seasons that didn't involve a special twist. Back when people as old as Tina & KY Joe, Kim J & Big Tom made it to the end (now make no mistake about it.. i'm not a fan of Kim J or Big Tom.. i'm just using them as an age example here) Back when we had vegetarians competing in food challenges. Old women like Linda & Teresa drinking blood straight from a cows neck. People like KY Joe who can't swim jumping off a cliff to win a challenge... what i'm getting at is back when Survivor was good. honestly. i mean the show has kinda slowed down. viewers like people they can relate too. viewers like people who have the drive & the determination. viewers like people have the want & the need to be there. Viewers don't like quitters (aside from Jenna Morasca who had a justifiable reason)... the sooner the casting department learns this, the better.. (Hopefully amazing older women like Jane & Holly this season make them realize that) I'm a huge Na Onka fan. she brought the entertainment. love her or hate her, admit it. i know it, you know it, she knows it & CBS knows it. there's a reason why in every promo clip for the next week it was about something Na Onka did. she was ratings gold! her crazy ass is the kinda stuff viewers tune in to see! but she let me down. i'm so disappointed that she quit.... and her defense being "i'm the only african american still here"... Na Onka! you colored blind woman?? there were only two of you there to begin with!! its not that hard to outlast an old man!! i'm so bummed she quit. huge letdown. & i'm a little harder on her than Kelly because i liked her. She was entertaining. Kelly wasn't.


"i'm not gonna be mediocre" - Na Onka said she wasn't gonna slack just because she wanted to quit. "I want to go out with a bang"... She basically said she doesn't care, she's doing what she wants to do, controversy or not. Na Onka isn't gonna give up her reward that she just won. She hasn't ate anything more than a coconut shell full of rice in 28 days. she's not gonna give up on a hotdog. she doesn't care if they get pissed at her. Even when she had intent on staying in the game she didn't give a shit what others thought of her, what the hell is everyone so surprised at that she didn't care when she wouldn't have to be there??? i don't get it. I loved how whatshisname... Homer or something? no, Benry.. thats it.. GOD! why do i keep forgetting about this guy!!... was like "stand up tell her to sit back down.." if you were that concerned with Holly eating why didn't you step up? you're not that concerned if Holly gets to eat. You're that concerned with making Na Onka feel like crap! .. again, make no mistake, i'm not defending Na Onka.. i'm just saying, lets not act like we're surprised because we're not.. and lets not contradict ourselves and act like she's so horrible for not giving up her food that she just worked her ass off for. regardless if she's going to eat later or not, she worked for that reward. if you want Holly to enjoy it, you give her your spot!



Purple Kelly quitting wasn't really that surprising. when i heard the news about 2 people quitting i assumed her & Dan. She seems like one of those spoiled little kids Jane was talking about at Tribal Council... (sidenote: every time i see Jane on my screen i just start singin in my head "in the summer time we didn't have shoes to wear.. but in the winter time we'd all get a brand new pair") and besides, the girl had to quit. she didn't have anything else to suck! duh, Holly!! you can't suck it up when you don't have anything else to suck! everyone knows that! whats the matter with you old woman! sheesh!



now to Holly... Holly has really been shining these past few episodes. She's getting an amazing edit for a winner and based on what i've seen of her she definitely deserves it. She takes over this mother role and the reason "Momma Holly" wasn't able to convince Na Onka & Kelly to stay was because, Momma Holly isn't from South Central LA... she's from South Duhkohduh (sorry, that was my lame attempt at a Holly impression) all she wanted was a hotdog!... and all she did was make me have visions of Jennifer Coolidge dancing around in my head wanting a hotdog... real bad! Holly telling Kelly "i didn't let my daughters quit track and they were state champs" didn't have any effect on her because Kelly doesn't run track. are you kidding me? Kelly was on the dance team or the cheerleading squad and i can assure you Mama Purple didn't force her to do anything she didn't want to... They even shipped her off to paradise to attend college. & That look she gave Na Onka didn't have any impact whatsoever on her. Na Onka is from the hood. Aint no middle aged white woman raising her eyebrows at her going to intimidate her. Pull out a gun and throw some gang signs, Holly. Thats how they do it in Compton.. or wherever she said she was from again.. Can you imagine Holly in the hood? turning that buff into a bandana? running around dressed like Sandy from Grease all in leather trying to cross her fingers into west coast gang signs?? oh that reminds me!..


After the premiere episode of Survivor a friend of mine said "doesn't Holly remind you of Olivia Newton John circa Xanadu?".. now being a straight male, i've never seen Xanadu, nor do i have intentions of ever watching it, but i do recall Pop Up Video on VH1 in the mid 90's and last night at Tribal Council with her buff around her around head and her one sleeved (whats up with that anyway?) blouse when the rain was glistening off her perfectly toned right arm i just imagined her jumping to her feet and looking at Fabio busting out "Let me hear your body talk! your body talk! Let me hear your body talk!!"

"you should've scrambled"

so i'm sitting here staring at my screen through tear stained and blood shot eyes. Sitting in a pile of the shattered pieces to my broken heart. I refuse to sweep it up because then its over. I have nothing left of Brenda to cling to but a memory. Her pimple had even faded! She didn't even have the talking pimple this week!

"There comes a time in this game, Jane, when you have to start saying "See ya.""
Holly... as i said last week and as i've said from the beginning she is a huge threat physically. but who knew she could be so strategic!? she does like to call people out and she gets away scotch free.. well this episode was no different. This was hands down the smartest move this season. I don't care if you win 50 immunity challenges no game play trumps this power play. Targeting Brenda was brilliant and then getting the majority to actually go along with it!?!?! I'm not gonna lie when i saw her talking about it at the start of the episode i thought for sure she had just signed her death warrant. Stupid woman! you're never gonna get enough votes to get her out. Noone is gonna turn on Brenda... not only did she get enough votes.. she got Sash's vote! Holly deserves to win this game in my opinion. After last night, Holly deserves to win this game.... and did you notice how Na Onka & Benry (yeah, really... Benry!) took the blame for it? Holly just sat back quiet at Tribal Council smiling... no doubt going over pot roast recipe's in her head!... She's one to watch... scratch that.. she is THE one to watch. I didn't think she had that much strategy in her. Holly is definitely MVP this season to me. I don't see anyone making a bigger move than that. Voting out Brenda was a game changer. HUGE. EPIC...

and although it didn't have an impact on the game.. did you hear her say "now its not something to get upset over. we just have to clean it up and move on" when they got back to camp after Benry got pissed?? ... thats the mother in her... thats the reason why she can say "hey Na Onka what did you do with the flour?" "Jill you're stupid. you can' eat snails" (also did anyone else see how she was eating a hermit crab last night? i loved it) and she gets away with it. because you can't stay mad at your mom. mom's are always right. you do what they tell you to do... . and sometimes they tell you to quit talking to the girl next door.

I really like Dan. I do. my favorites in the game of Survivor are the villains and the old people. Always. and Dan (and Jane) is my old person this season. He's basically a waste of space. He'll finish 4th no doubt in my mind. But i just love him. He reminds me of a Keebler elf on steroids. He's about 4 feet tall and he's biceps are bigger than his whole body and he struts around in his 1972 NBA ready shorts. He's just funny to me.

"Chase is sucking up to Brenda like he wants to get in her pants or something"
Jane is a fricken ninja granny! What the hell! i think i'm gonna have to start doing some P90x and dog grooming! What i love about Jane is whats ultimately gonna be her downfall. She does have that "my momma tol' me" personality like Marty said. She is southern. She uses slang that i thought only my family used. She is just so lovable! how can you not like her? She has determination and will power..... everything that makes her a threat. There was no need for her to stay in that tile breaking challenge that long. I get that you want to prove a point to Marty.. but you're also proving that you're a threat. There was no need for her to win that immunity challenge last night. She wasn't in trouble. She's fraile. She's old. She's not a threat... thats what everyone's thinking. JANE, LET THEM THINK IT! LET THEM THINK IT, JANE! dig down deep and find that strength at the final immunity challenge. you don't need it now. Now don't get me wrong, i'm glad, for my sake, that she did because it definitely gave me something to talk about and a nice water cooler moment. But i think its gonna be her downfall in the game.. THEN she pulled herself back up. she didn't fall in the water. she pulled herself back up that rope. She's already set herself up as a huge threat in this game. I can't see her getting near the final 4. They're not gonna risk her winning it all, because lets face it. she would win it all.
"I trust Brenda. There is no reason or rhyme. its just the simple fact that i trust her"
Chase is so pitiful. Everything about him is just so pitiful. Chase is one of those guys who needs to get out more. Chase strikes me as the guy whose had to be the man of the house early on in his life and was so used to be the whipping boy and told "now go do this for me... go do that for me..." and when he got older and he moved on he was so used to taking over the bitch role he doesn't know how to survive unless he's being dragged around and beaten down by a woman. I think Holly said it best. "WHAT THE _____ IS WRONG WITH CHASE!?"...(yikes! dropping F bombs! someone must have just spilled grape juice on mother's perfect white carpet.... or tried to ruin her perfect plan) He's just so soft spoken. I don't like nice soft spoken people.

"I don't have to do anything crazy to beat them. I'm really not that impressed"
Brenda got comfortable. Plain and simple. You never get comfortable in this game. Its easy to sit at home and say "oh i could do that" or "woulda coulda shoulda"... well Brenda, you woulda coulda shoulda scrambled. Like Holly said. You should have scrambled. and actually i COULD do that also. there's no doubt in my mind if i were to ever be on Survivor i'd be the Russell of my season. I'd be the Todd. I'd be the Yul. I'd be the Parvati. I'd be the Brenda... i'm a strategist. i'm manipulative. I'm always right. and i say that with 100% confidence. I'm the smartest person i know. I always get what i want. Always. My only problem would be going 1 day, let along 39 without brushing my teeth. If i could survive the elements there's no doubt in my mind i could survive the mental aspect... but this isn't about me.. its about Brenda, so back to her.. You don't get comfortable. You don't take time to smell the roses and watch the sunsets. You can come back to Nicaragua once you have a million dollars and just lay around and watch the sunset. You don't make friends on that island. You come home and Facebook them after its all over then you become friends. Never trust anyone 100%. Never underestimate anyone. That was Brenda's downfall.

I think Sash made a HUGE mistake by not giving his idol to Brenda... but that was only a mistake by Sash. Getting rid of Brenda was the smartest move available, but for Sash, he should have scrambled for her if she wasn't going to do it for herself. The only person who is a bigger threat than him is her. The only person he has a shot at beating in the end is her. He should have given her his idol.

"I have to flop... Its the smart thing to do"
Na Onka is highly underestimated in this game. I've said it for a long time and i think people are just now starting to see what i've been saying. You're there for a million dollars. Na Onka is taking the steps needed to get her close to that million dollars and if that means being a total bitch so people will want her in the end.. or if that means stabbing your biggest ally in the back.. then so be it.

"You never talk, really." - "I know. Its kind of funny."
Purple Kelly is growing on me. Its odd because she's basically edited out of the show in its entirety. Its almost as if they realize it and they're just making a little game out of it now. Its funny, really. and then Jeff at tribal: "Have you been learning stuff, tonight?" - "yes."..... well i've been learning things from you too Purple Kelly.. i made a little list of all the things i've learned about her in my last blog... we can add her 20 years of wisdom.. or lack there of.. to that list. and what was up with her random vote for Benry? she wasn't lying was she.. she REALLY didn't have a clue as to what was going on!

As sad as the game is without Brenda there's still some interesting people left to root for, Benry & Purple Kelly are there too.
alliances have broken & the biggest threat is out of the game, its only getting better from here...

also... anyone else notice in the preview clip for next episode that Fabio was wearing the immunity necklace??

"I'm not gonna lose any sleep because I damn sure don't get sleep as it is!"

first, i found it so hard to even focus on what Brenda was saying when she would talk because she had this little pimple forming on her right cheek and it just kept drawing my attention. you know that Tide to Go commercial where the stain is talking... it was like that. only her little pimple was talking... but pimple or not i could watch her smile all day. i'm infatuated with her. she would definitely control my way of thinking too if i were there with her... just like she controls every one else out there.

i loved this episode! i loved everything about it! my two favorites in this game are Na Onka & Jane. my least favorite is Marty. i loved that he tried to burn them and it backfired! i loved the satisfaction on their face when Marty got the boot.

and i agree with them! everything about the man annoys me too! he does need a trip to the woodshed. i wouldn't let my children nowhere near him (i even blogged about it a couple weeks ago) and the way he walks, the way he talks, and his hair bugs the shit outta me!

Now i know a lot of people aren't fans of Na Onka and think she's playing a horrible game. I think Na Onka is in the best position to win this game. Na Onka is a total bitch but make no mistake about it... Na Onka formed the alliance between Sash & Brenda. Na Onka wanted Shannon gone. Na Onka kissed Alina's ass right before she slit her throat. Na Onka is the girl who everyone wants to go to the end with. The difference in Na Onka and everyone else playing this game is that Na Onka isn't a closet bitch. What you see is what you get with her. she's a HUGE physical threat. she's a warrior in challenges. so noone can say she didn't do well. noone can say she laid low. noone can say she rode coattails. If she gets to the end with the likes of golden boy chase & the all mighty Sash... that'll mean Chase turned on Jane, Holly, Kelly... . Sash turned on Brenda. Sash turned on Marty... think about it. She doesn't really have as strong of a relationship with others as they do with themselves... So she's not technically gonna be burning any bridges by voting anyone out because they already expect her to be shady and untrustworthy... don't underestimate her. The jury awarded someone like Natalie the million dollars over Russell and someone like Sandra the million dollars over Parvati.... not because they deserved it. if you honestly felt they deserved it don't even bother speaking to me about Survivor because you clearly don't know shit about the show.. they were awarded the money because of a scorned jury. Do you think a jury is gonna be more pissed by someone they knew was shady.. or by someone they trusted whole heartily? now don't get me wrong.. i'm not saying being loud and over the top is a strategy for her. i think its her personality it just kind of fell into place as a perfect strategy. ..

speaking of Chase.. he didn't choose the girls because he wanted to show allegiance to them. he chose the girls because the guys had uncle dan. you got someone like Sash who is skinny as a rail and has a chest like E.T. that you can count the bones in his ribcage. you got Dan who can't even walk. and you got Marty who is so delusional he can't even breathe without stopping to over analyze if he's gonna do it through his mouth or his nose. Marty is a hot mess. ... then you got Brenda, who found the medallion of power and has been pretty good at challenges. you got Na Onka, who like i said is a freakin warrior. no doubt in my mind she can take anyone there in an arm wrestling contest.. especially Fabio. & Holly.. i don't know what Holly eats for breakfast but to be over 40 and look as young as she does and be in the shape she is is pretty darn good.. Chase wasn't being strategic. Chase wanted to win.

Holly. now like i said, the girl must put miracle grow in her wheaties! she's like an amazon. i've said it from the beginning and i'll continue to say it, i wouldn't have let her get past the first tribal council. (glad she did or we would have missed her crazy ass in episode 2..) I expected Holly to be this quiet girl that you never know is there.. kinda like an old lady version of Benry... we see her break down and want to quit. we see her completely flop on her tribe. she's one of the last two women standing in the first merge challenge. she won individual immunity at the double tribal council. she lets jane & na onka STAND ON HER BACK in last nights reward challenge. she calls out Na Onka in front of the whole camp. and noone thinks "wow, she's a threat. look at her stirring some crap up here with Na & Alina." no. noone looks at her like that because she smiles and says "you remind me of my son. you remind me of my daughter. come on over to my house when this is all over and i'll fix you a pot roast in 30 seconds while my husband reads the paper at the kitchen table with his perfect suit and his perfect cuff links and i pour him a nice cup of coffee while my golden retriever comes wagging his tail into the kitchen and my teeth have little sparkly dings to them every time i smile. After dinner we can hop in my Chevy Tahoe and we can go feed the homeless." SHE JUST SEEMS SO FRICKEN PERFECT! everything about her! its like i want to be a part of her family. i want her to be my mother. she comforts alina on their reward. she comforts purple kelly after their challenge loss. she has heart to hearts with chase and jane. Can you imagine a life with Holly as your mother, Chase as your older brother and Jane as your grandma.... and of course Brenda as the girl next door? perfect life.

The more i see of Sash. the more i start to think about Shannon.... but anyway, i just wanna make him eat. he looks sick. he looks like he needs an iv and is on the verge of being bed ridden and forced to eat from a tube. he's so skinny. and his chest is so puffed out and you can literally count the bones in it. kinda like Brenda's talking pimple.. i can't focus on what he's saying because just looking at him makes me hungry. i wanna eat a sandwich.. 2 sandwiches. one for me and one for him. He's a pretty good strategist tho, not as great as Brenda, but pretty good. i don't see him winning this game tho. even if he makes it to the end (i suspect they'll turn on him tho.. like Brenda said she's controlling the game. He's her competition and he lied to the Marty alliance.. so he may go pretty soon) i can't see him winning. like i touched on during Na Onka's portion.. he's burning bridges and making too many promises he can't keep.
Fabio and that one guy.. .whats his name.. oh yeah, Benry... sorry i keep forgetting he's there... were talking about playing dumb. see, that leads me to believe Fabio is gonna do well in this game (i've always thought he would tho.. this just makes me think it even more) around this time each season the finalist start getting some interesting edits.. however i think thats just CBS trying to make him look like a good strategist. he's not a good strategist. he's just a likable guy. he doesn't have anything strategic about him. if he did he wouldn't have voted with Shannon. He wouldn't have voted with Marty.. he's not strategic. he's just likable. So when it comes time to vote someone off its "well here's fabio.. he's not the strongest of the group so we could still beat him. plus he's funny. in an environment like this a comedic relief is good.. we'll keep him" and like Na Onka.. his personality is kinda just falling into place for him in this game. he doesn't really need to do anything. he gets by just by being who he is. but i don't think its an act, AT ALL.

OH! and we got to see more of Purple Kelly this episode! what have we learned about her this season:

1.)she didn't get to milk her own milk.
2.)she's hungry
3.)she doesn't know which end of the marker you write with
4.)she's not the brightest color of purple in the world..

"i don't milk animals... but it was okay. i can say that i touched a cow's nipple"

before i get into the blog i have to give some recognition to Kelly S. Although I would hardly call this episode her's.. not only did we hear her talk for the first time (bless her heart, i think i know now why we haven't) and see her sassy side with Fabio at the immunity challenge, after that reward challenge when the camera cut to her walking into the water with the sunset background then cuts to a head to toe body shot of brenda... i get a feeling the editing department at CBS is made up of men..

that immunity challenge was kind of ridiculous. did the challenge department get a little lazy and decide "you know what, lets use the same challenge we used a few weeks ago only instead of using water we'll use balls." i don't like lazy challenges. we've seen a lot of new challenges this season and lets not stop with them now! (by the way my favorite challenge in Suvivor history is the touchy subjects challenge.. or that plate breaking challenge thing they do.. its a real eye opener and a game changer.. they should have that every season if they insist on doubling up on the same ones!!)

Brenda:
i loved that walking into the challenge the editing department did that little "ding" and twinkle in her eye... then again when she smiled at tribal. even without the effects i hear those dings and see those sparkles every time she comes across my screen. She's definitely calling the shots. Brenda will win this game unless someone wises up and gets rid of her. One can argue she's stupid like Jill (because Jill too is giving others credit for her actions - and i'll get to her in a minute) but unlike Jill, Brenda has the ability to back it up. Brenda doesn't just say "oh here's an idol. whats on the agenda today?" Brenda says "here's an idol. now here's the plan, go do this with it!" I will say, if Brenda is eliminated, the person responsible for her ouster would definitely receive my vote for winner of Survivor Nicaragua.

Sash:
"i don't even have to go looking for idols people just give them to me"... now now, lets not take credit for Brenda's dirty work. I think Brenda is the star of this show.. and the reason why i think that, she's letting Sash think he's calling the shots. Brenda is a black widow. I think he's gonna shoot himself in the foot tho if he's not careful. He's so confident and he likes to take credit for every move thats made... anyone whose watched Survivor before knows being a silent assassin (like Brenda) is far more rewarding than being the known leader (aint that right, Russell?) Sash wants the leadership role. & i think that leadership role will bite him in the ass if he makes it to the finals. (i still stand by the finale including Chase, Fabio & Brenda tho...)

Holly:
Remember last week when i said she's so down home and so southern and she seems like the most sweetest kindest sincerest person ever.. well she just further proved that this week. she's just so motherly. i lost my mom at an early age but i'd like to imagine she would be similar to Holly. She makes you smile.... but at the same time she makes you (well me anyway) throw something at the TV! I get that momma bears do anything for their cubs and give up their whole world for their kids, but Holly.. these people aren't really your kids! don't give up a million dollars for them!! she says "Chase & Alina you've both called our camp home" and she's completely turned on the original Espada.. which honestly they were gonna vote her out, so why not, right? but when you get to the merge you're just gonna be outnumbered again.. you're playing to win, not to finish in 8th.. She shoulda kept Yve. She needs to keep Dan. she needs to target Alina. Alina opened up about being on the outs.. she should have capitalized on that.. (and yes i know, its easy to say "woulda shoulda coulda" while sitting at home on your couch) in this game you need someone stronger than you and someone you can beat.. that way you're not the target regardless.. if the tribe wants to keep strong you're not the target. if the tribe wants to vote out the threat.. you're not the target. Holly is putting herself back in the minority and aligning with people who are physically stronger than her. She frustrates me so much!! maybe she'll win another food challenge and get the shakes so bad it shakes some sense into her.


Benry:
"Na, like uh... toot" i think Benry's days in this game are numbered. We're seeing him be the star of the show a little too much as of late. He has a tight alliance with Invisib... uhh i mean Purple.. Kelly, Brenda, Chase, Na Onka, Fabio & Sash.. but i think he's on the bottom of the totem pole out of that group and when it becomes an individual game Jane & Dan's weakness are gonna overthrow Benry's strength.

Jane:
"i want my cake and i want to eat it too!" whats the sense in having caking if you can't eat it, right? i agree with you Jane. i got your back on this one. I love her. I hope she wins. she won't but i hope she does. She's just a favorite of mine. If Holly's my mom, Jane's my granny. Who else on that island can catch fish, start a fire and cook it all by themselves? noone, thats who!
So if you didn't love Jane before (and how could you not??) i bet you do now. I hope there's a Jane on season 22.. and 23... and 24... and 25 etc etc. We don't have enough Jane's on Survivor.. or in the world. I'm so glad this season was separated old vs young tho or she wouldn't have stood a chance. so many models are recruited on this show and its a shame because its real people like Jane (and Sandy from Tocantins) that viewers tune into see and sometimes the odds just aren't in their favor. I'm glad she had a fighting chance. Maybe casting will realize how amazing she is and when casting the older crazy funny lady role in future installments they won't put her on a tribe full of 20 somethings who are there just for a tan and vacation and a little fame.

Dan:
"He can't jump either!" now i love Dan. i do. i think he's great. i love that he can't even talk without having to stop for breath and take a nap mid sentence then he gets in front of Jeff at Tribal and says "no way, Jeff! i don't want to quit! i'm not weak! i'd much rather be here on this island starving than at home in one of my 6 houses!" he's so cocky. now lets not get confused, i'm not saying he's an asset because he's not. he is pretty much useless! but he's HILARIOUS. that immunity challenge was probably the funniest moment of this season! i loved it!

Na Onka:
and she's back! my bitchy Na is back! i'm so happy! i love her. Na Onka is one of my favorite cast members of ALL time. I've watched Survivor since i was 12 years old. i remember when it was originally on Wednesday nights, thats alot of years and a lot of Survivors and i have to say Na Onka ranks up there on my list as an all time favorite (Jane as well) but before i get more into it, i have to say she looked like a freakin warrior in that reward challenge!i love me a good villain. i don't want Na Onka to tame it down AT ALL.. but if she did tame it down and her and holly could meet in the middle. a combination of Na Onka & Holly.. (and by that i mean someone sweet, nurturing, but weary of everything) could be deadly in this game. Her & Holly need to team up. they probably won't. but they need to. and for what its worth, i'd much rather be the one that didn't know how to milk a cow than the one whose a pro at it..
Jill:
So glad she's gone! SOOOO GLAD she's gone! i cant' stand people who can't think for themselves in this game. She had all the makings for a great survivor contestant. i don't fault casting for putting her on the show because they had no way of knowing she'd be a complete disappointment and failure. i mean she had all the fixings! she was like Thanksgiving dinner! she had it all.. and she just threw it out to the dogs. Marty being the dog in this case. She said "its either me or marty & marty has the idol"... why does marty have that idol, Jill?? oh you don't know? BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IDIOT! THATS WHY!!! i for one won't miss her. it was a long time coming.

Marty:
i know i say it every week but he never ceases to amaze me with how absolutely ridiculous he is. I will give credit where credit is due and say that his ability to hold on to the idol and not play it was a smart one. like he said "if i use it now i'll just go home next" and he held out and it paid off.. like he said last night "if i don't give it to Sash i'll have to get rid of it and play it anyway, regardless i'm going home atleast this way i have a chance".. so i do give him credit for that. but this is a game where you have to swallow your pride. how he acted over Jane. he's such a little suckbaby. i just want to meet him personally so i can disagree with him. he clearly can't stand it when people call him out on his bullshit. he has control issues.... and people with control issues in an environment where the unexpected is the only thing to be expected makes for high quality entertainment!

well thats all folks. until next week... (when we see Na Onka causing chaos)

i think dimensia is setting in for these old folks

Dan reveals he has a ferrari, Holly suffers a memory lapse, Marty is delusional... forget Ponderosa, these old folks are headed straight to the nursing home when they get the boot!
so last night was the double boot episode. & i woke up this morning and read blog after blog that people were stupid for not getting rid of Marty! he has an idol therefore he's a threat! & how dare everyone vote out Kelly B just because of her leg. I even read that "Brenda only wanted her gone because of her leg. Brenda made fun of her for having an artificial leg last night"... i'm not so sure i watched the same episode as that guy but whatever.. lets start from the beginning

HOLLY
Dan wants to quit. blah blah. the only thing shocking about that was little miss Holly chiming in about how he should have never even signed up if all he wanted to do was quit! Now i like Holly. i do. she seems down home and super sweet. great morals in that gal, but I'm gonna have to call bullshit on that one. at least Dan waited 2 weeks in. Holly was in tears wanting to quit on Day 4! Holly is in a great position in this game! she has the young kids on her side. she was next to go on Espada. no questions asked! her head was in the guillotine! now here she is with Yve & Dan.. both were gonna send her home no doubt about it.. Holly is probably the most physically fit of any of the old people and half of the young people out there. she's a HUGE physical threat in my eyes.. but here's Yve who doesn't seem all that weak & then there's Dan who can't even sit down without complaining of his knees hurting. He's worthless! HOLLY! what are you talking about!! you don't' need a strong tribe! you have that with Chase & NaOnka & Benry.. you don't need that with Yve. as soon as Yve joins back up with Marty & Jill she's gonna gun for you again! No questions asked you can ANNIHILATE Dan in a challenge. You wanna keep the tribe strong you're gonna go right back to where yous tarted... at the bottom of the totem pole. If you see a crack bust through there like a hurricane and use that segue to advance you further in the game. Don't even consider getting rid of Dan! I was so confused by her giving Yve ammunition to stay in this game. like i said she seems like a sweet lady, but being sweet doesn't get you a million dollars!

DAN
now i really like Dan. i love that he admits to having 6 cars & 3 houses. i love that he complained to his tribe that Holly ruined the shoes he paid $1600 for. A lot of people would think he's crazy. i would much rather vote for someone who is wealthy & independent to win the money that someone who is lazy and doesn't work and is relying solely on the show to be successful. if you work hard in life you get rewarded. if you're a 40 year old waitress i'm sorry that doesn't cut it in my opinion.

NA ONKA
i'm glad we're not seeing "bully" Na Onka anymore.. okay i'm lying. i miss her like crazy! but i think what we're seeing is the real Na Onka and CBS ran out of possible bad edits for her. Lets go back to the beginning.. episode 1 & 2 we really didn't see the bitchy side of Na Onka. we heard her say "if that leg flies off she's out of here".. well in her defense, if that leg flies off and she has to go to tribal council as a result of that loss her neck is on the line! So thats a pretty valid concern. It wasn't until after Shannon's elimination at tribal when Shannon said she was his target and that him, Kelly B, Alina & Fabio wanted her out that she started being a total bitch to Kelly B and throwing out the insults. you can cry and say she's evil and you don't like her and she gives you nightmares and you have the mindset and intimidation factor of a 4th grader all you want but truth is, she didn't do a damn thing to Kelly B. Just like we saw her say last night in regards to Dan "he's weak. pretty soon he's gonna be walking on nubs" whats the difference in her saying that about Dan and saying "Kelly B, gurrrrl you better have that leg under control!" .. if you have a potential to slow the tribe down you best be prepared to handle yourself when someone confronts you over it. this isn't charity. its survivor. everyone wants to win. Na Onka even gave her credit for doing well in the challenge, if you remember. But i miss the bitchy edit Na.

BRENDA
Brenda is brilliant. Throw in a little bit of Parvati, mix it with some Cirie, add some Russell factor, stir it all up and you have Brenda. She will bat her lashes and swing her hips just like parvati, smile to your face & charm you into believing everything she's telling you just like cirie, then she'll slit your throat like Russell. She has what it takes to win this game. I think she'll go far. Her only problem is she's in an alliance with Chase. She's in an alliance with Na Onka. She's in an alliance with Sash. She's in an alliance with Kelly Purple. She's in an alliance with Fabio... & thats all good because the majority of numbers is what you want in this game but she seems to be the glue that holds them all together.. and when that alliance starts to crumble.. and it will.. there can only be ONE winner in this game.. people are gonna start looking at her. That lone wolf, the last man standing from the opposite alliance, is gonna try and weasel his way. he's gonna use the whole "well she's tight with everyone. you're never gonna be able to beat her"... and thats true. So if she can overcome that she'll win the game.

KELLY PURPLE
okay, i'm totally kidding. i have nothing to say about her. i've never seen someone so edited out of the show in 21 seasons of Survivor. not even Brett from Samoa had it this bad!



so those are my castaway highlights this episode.. now back to the show.. I would have gotten rid of Marty, but i totally understand why they didn't. Yes he has an idol.. but you have to have more than an idol to survive in this game. & the only thing more than an idol that he has is Jill. yeah, its sad, i know. He's not a threat. He's a delusional old man who (and now this is just my opinion, we're all allowed to have our opinion so before you start bashing me go shoot yourself) more than likely beats his wife & children and makes them call him master everyday. and he's so used to being the leader in his every day life because he intimidates people into thinking he is one and so out here on this little island he's convinced himself that he can control these people as well... (okay okay i'm exaggerating a little bit but you get what i mean. & on a sidenote: if he's not married- thats probably why!) he's insane. he's like Coach from Tocantins. lost in his own little fairy tale land. The only difference is i think Coach played it up and doesn't really care if you believe him or not. Marty starts shooting steam from his ears if you doubt him. & the best part about Survivor.. there's always gonna be someone doubt you. Marty won't last much longer. He's a nut job! He's like that dying mouse that the cat plays with & Brenda is his cat. That poor little mouse holds on to hope that it will survive but we all know it won't. Marty holds on to hope that he can convince people to believe him.. but he won't. noone will ever believe him and the reason: they don't live in Martyville. I won't miss Kelly B or Yve. they were basically pointless (not as much as Kelly Purple who hopefully will go soon along with Jill) to have on the show.

criss cross make you wanna jump jump.. or something like that

so yeah maybe i should wait and blog AFTER the show so we have a little new stuff to discuss but thats okay, i'm interesting enough to make this work so here goes..

oh wait! before i start i'm gonna miss Jimmy T. .. okay now lets begin

So i don't think its any shock a tribal swap is happening anyone whose ever watched the show would have expected it. Any time the tribes are divided by a specific genre a switch happens (except Heroes vs Villains but that was the 10th anniversary season and the motto was even changed so thats different)

Marty & Brenda end up on the same tribe.. i hope Marty brought his pen & paper to take notes because she's about to take his ass to school! i would be shocked to learn Marty has ever even seen a single episode of Survivor. I don't think he's going to be able to control the minds of Brenda & her alliance like he does Jill & Dan.

I'm not exactly sure who ends up on what side i've been trying to gather it from preview clips but its just not working out for me.. mainly because i can't really focus on anything after i see Na Onka in tears (which i'll get to in a minute) but i hope my favorites have a majority alliance and are able to pull it off until merge. Just incase you're unclear my favorites include: Na Onka, Jane, Brenda & Benry.

I'm kinda disappointed to see Na Onka crying. Its not that i want to see her live up to the bitch role she's gotten herself into, its more so that i want to see her own it & not have any regrets. I don't think she's really as bitchy as she comes across (& as i blogged in my last one i personally don't think she's really all that mean) But don't get soft, thats a weakness. & then when you're trying to come across hard people are just gonna remember you in tears and not really be all that intimidated. There's a million dollars on the line, steal all the socks & throw all the elbows it takes to get to the end. I was promised a hurricane not a tropical storm. i heard a rumor 2 people quit this season (which is really disappointing to me) and i really hope one of them isn't her.

i think with the swap coming Kelly B, Marty, Yve, Jill, & Holly are in trouble. (and i know thats a lot of people but this is my blog so shut up) Here's my reasoning: (again i don't know who ends up in a minority/majority so i could be totally wrong) Holly is the strongest of the old people. She's the most physically fit and the young kids aren't gonna vote off one of their own (if they're smart) and the old guys are gonna say "you know what! she did go a little off her rocker on us a while back" (or thats what i'd say anyway).. The same with Kelly B. if the young guys end up in the minority they'll say "you know what, we should get rid of her. she's a sympathy vote" because they don't really seem to like her as it is & if one of 'em has to go i think they'll throw her under the bus. Jill can't think for herself so if she ends up without Marty she'll be lost. She'll probably quit too. She did mention a few episodes ago she didn't know how much more of this she could take.. maybe that was foreshadowing (i hope she's out soon. i can't stand to watch people like her. her & amanda kimmel need to go have little helpless, clueless, defenseless babies. Yve doesn't really seem like she has a strong alliance. she's quiet. she seems on the outs of her tribe (i would predict she's next to go had the swap not happened) so similar to the first two i mentioned, if one of them has to go i think Espada will throw her to the wolves. Marty, i think he'll go because he's delusional. he's bossy. he's egotistical. he's a fool, really! he feels threatened by anyone who can walk & speak for themselves (hence his alliance with Jill & Dan) and Brenda has pretty much been calling the shots on her tribe and the previews show them clashing a little bit and regardless if she's in the minority or not the difference in Brenda & Marty is that she doesn't have to control weak minds, she's smart enough to make strong minded people see from her point of view as well. She'll mop the floor (.. or the sandy beach) with his ass. (and i for one can't wait to see it!!)

My predictions for a boot tonight: Marty, Yve or Holly.



My predictions for final 4: Brenda, Chase, Fabio... Kelly Purple or Jane could fill that last void.. i think Jane will go far if she makes merge.

My predictions for a winner: Chase.

color me villain

So Survivor Nicaragua premiered 3 weeks ago and this is shaping up to be one of the greatest seasons in the show's history. We have a diverse cast. We have the lovable Jane. We have the delusional Jimmy T. We have the hot guy Chase & the hot girl Brenda (and it makes it even better that they're in an alliance/showmance) and we have the villain Na Onka. What more could you ask for in a season!?

There's been quite some controversy surrounding Na Onka (and its only 3 episodes in!) & she's getting quite the backlash from Survivor fans around the world. Even Jeff Probst tweeted she did one of the meanest things he's ever saw! Other blogs have stated she's heartless and just needs to do us all a favor and shut up. How dare she say those things about an amputee and better yet even push her down to get a clue to a hidden immunity idol!? WHAT A BITCH...

well sit back, shut your mouth, and prepare to be schooled. Grab a dictionary if you need it and study the definition of "mean" & brush up on your Survivor history...

What makes Na Onka such a bitch?
Episode 1 we heard her say "You think you can outrun me with that leg? well bitch lets race!" - SCANDAL!! .. but wait, didn't Tyrone basically say the same thing? yes! yes, he did! When Jeff asked him if he would take it easy on her he flat out said "no" and he's a grown man. A pretty physically fit grown man too! So why no controversy surrounding that?
Episode 2: She stole Fabio's socks and yelled at him and said "I can get loud too!" .. now if memory serves me correctly Sandra said VERBATIM "i can get loud too" (only she added a few cuss words to the end of it making hers far more worse) to Johnny Fairplay in Pearl Islands so surely that wasn't it.. Not to mention Russell stole socks and burned them his first night in Samoa! So why just the outpouring of hate toward Na Onka?
Episode 3 we saw her push a girl down to get a clue to a hidden immunity idol... wait, where was the backlash over Amanda & Danielle doing the same thing in Heroes Vs Villains? Maybe America is just upset because she smushed bananas. After all that is there food!.. hold up, didn't Sandra dump a whole bucket of fish? Didn't Holly JUST dump snails in episode 2? that was their food too!

Maybe her attitude is just too abrasive for some, i bet thats it! She's just too much for some to handle. I mean after all she did say she got "hood".. Thank God Ben from Samoa wasn't there to call her ghetto trash or tell her to go eat a ketchup sandwich! & Kelly B better glad she's only got one leg and not crying over her dead father because any true Survivor fan knows that Corinne wouldn't stand for that! Maybe she shouldn't have "pushed" Kelly B to the ground... but then again maybe Robb shouldn't have physically choked Clay in Thailand either. Where were his haters?? Come to think of it, she's not nearly as bad as many of the past Survivor's we've seen... Lets stroll down memory lane, shall we?

Season 1: Borneo. Sue tells Kelly "i wouldn't give you water if you dying of thirst. I'd let the vultures do with you what they will" Now to my knowledge Sue was praised for that moment! One of the best in Survivor history! EPIC! HISTORICAL! .. but isn't that saying i hope you die? i'm pretty sure it is.. I don't think Na Onka has ever said anything close to that! (but hey, it has only been 3 episodes)

Season 5: Thailand. As i touched on earlier, Robb physically choked Clay. He grabbed him by the throat and choked him! Ghandia even accused Ted of molesting her. Pretty tough allegations there, Denver Diva!

Season 7: Pearl Islands. Sandra dumped the tribe's fish. Rupert stole the tribes clothes. Fairplay lied about his grandmother dying. Sandra got in Fairplay's face and yelled "I CAN GET LOUD TOO" just like Na Onka to Fabio. & Lets not forget even sweet little old Rupert who everyone loves drew his fist back to hit Fairplay and threatened violence. Not to mention Sandra swore a lie on her kids life.

Season 8: All Stars Big Tom says Jenna should be ashamed of herself for even coming on the show with a sick mother. Kind of like kicking her when she's down, don't you think? Pretty harsh in my opinion. Rich rubbed his naked body on Sue, people go to prison for that stuff! (he did, but not for that)

Season 9: Vanuatu Twila swore a lie on her son's life. At final 4 Twila, Scout & Chris basically harassed Eliza every second of every day. Kinda mean to the poor girl, bullying her... just in the past 3 weeks there have been 4 teens commit suicide because of bullying. It can be a pretty tough thing to handle!

Survivor 15: China. Courtney made fun of Denise's hairstyle. her appearance. Said she must be so sad to look the way she does and live the way she does. Denise even lied to MARK BURNETT and got $25k!! out of it!

Season 17: Gabon. Wow, what didn't Randy & Corinne do or say to poor Sugar & Susie? That whole season was full of mean spirited insults! I could sit here and list all day long but i think we've all seen that season.

Season 18: Tocantins. Lets not forget the comment Coach made at the immunity challenge following Sandy's exit about her. Or how Tyson treated Sierra. Or Coach & Debbie treated Sierra. Mean ol' Tyson, Coach, & Debbie!!

Season 19: Samoa. Russ lied about being a Hurricane Katrina Survivor. He stole socks. Poured out water. Hid machetes. Ben called Yasmine "ghetto trash" and told her to go eat a ketchup sandwich. Ben was kicked out of a challenge for unnecessary physical violence. Shambo's entire tribe made fun of her looks and isolated her!

Season 20: HvV -. Jerri called Parvati a slut. Parvati said Russell looked like a toothless troll... Danielle & Amanda fought over a clue to a hidden immunity idol as well.

In Australia a 60 year old man who couldn't swim had to jump off a 100+ foot cliff. A vegetarian had to eat sea slugs to win immunity. In Amazon a deaf girl had to miss out on late night. strategizing because she couldn't see to read lips. In Samoa a 300 pound man was body slammed in a challenge and had to be removed from the game because of it..

My point is Kelly B knew coming into Survivor there would be tough obstacles to face.

ANYONE whose there to win the game would fight over a clue (its happened before and i'm sure it will happen again) despite who you're up against. One leg, two legs, three legs... doesn't matter! a hidden immunity idol clue is a potential lifeline in the game! I'm pretty sure your family will forgive you for swearing a lie on their lives when you bring home a large sum of cash! Everyone is there with one goal in mind: TO WIN! No one signed up to help someone else win, they signed up to play because they wanted to win themselves! Only a fool (cough* Ian cough*) would give up the game for someone else.

Nothing Na Onka has said or done hasn't been done before on the show, in fact (as i just listed) a lot worse has been said and done on the show.
So my question to all the Na Onka "haters" is why? why do you hate her so bad? what has she done that you feel is so horrible? I could care less if people love or hate her, its a game and its all a matter of opinion of who you like and don't like. However i think its a bit much to call her the meanest person to ever play the game and say she's mean spirited and "pure evil" as people have said.

I'm sure some will respond with "Michael you don't know anything" or "you're one of 3 who like her" (just a little fact about me, i could care less if the entire world is doing it, i'm the kinda person who makes up my own mind. i'm not easily influenced by others).. and thats your opinion you're allowed to have it. But i'm not asking you to agree or disagree with me. I'm asking you, after me just listing all the things thats happened in past seasons compared to what Na Onka has said & done in season 21 what makes you consider her to be the biggest bitch? I will agree she is definitely the biggest villain on Season 21 of the show, but in the show's history? She doesn't even come close! (and i would say thats just my opinion but i've kind provided facts to back it up so i guess its not technically an opinion, right?)