"i don't milk animals... but it was okay. i can say that i touched a cow's nipple"

before i get into the blog i have to give some recognition to Kelly S. Although I would hardly call this episode her's.. not only did we hear her talk for the first time (bless her heart, i think i know now why we haven't) and see her sassy side with Fabio at the immunity challenge, after that reward challenge when the camera cut to her walking into the water with the sunset background then cuts to a head to toe body shot of brenda... i get a feeling the editing department at CBS is made up of men..

that immunity challenge was kind of ridiculous. did the challenge department get a little lazy and decide "you know what, lets use the same challenge we used a few weeks ago only instead of using water we'll use balls." i don't like lazy challenges. we've seen a lot of new challenges this season and lets not stop with them now! (by the way my favorite challenge in Suvivor history is the touchy subjects challenge.. or that plate breaking challenge thing they do.. its a real eye opener and a game changer.. they should have that every season if they insist on doubling up on the same ones!!)

Brenda:
i loved that walking into the challenge the editing department did that little "ding" and twinkle in her eye... then again when she smiled at tribal. even without the effects i hear those dings and see those sparkles every time she comes across my screen. She's definitely calling the shots. Brenda will win this game unless someone wises up and gets rid of her. One can argue she's stupid like Jill (because Jill too is giving others credit for her actions - and i'll get to her in a minute) but unlike Jill, Brenda has the ability to back it up. Brenda doesn't just say "oh here's an idol. whats on the agenda today?" Brenda says "here's an idol. now here's the plan, go do this with it!" I will say, if Brenda is eliminated, the person responsible for her ouster would definitely receive my vote for winner of Survivor Nicaragua.

Sash:
"i don't even have to go looking for idols people just give them to me"... now now, lets not take credit for Brenda's dirty work. I think Brenda is the star of this show.. and the reason why i think that, she's letting Sash think he's calling the shots. Brenda is a black widow. I think he's gonna shoot himself in the foot tho if he's not careful. He's so confident and he likes to take credit for every move thats made... anyone whose watched Survivor before knows being a silent assassin (like Brenda) is far more rewarding than being the known leader (aint that right, Russell?) Sash wants the leadership role. & i think that leadership role will bite him in the ass if he makes it to the finals. (i still stand by the finale including Chase, Fabio & Brenda tho...)

Holly:
Remember last week when i said she's so down home and so southern and she seems like the most sweetest kindest sincerest person ever.. well she just further proved that this week. she's just so motherly. i lost my mom at an early age but i'd like to imagine she would be similar to Holly. She makes you smile.... but at the same time she makes you (well me anyway) throw something at the TV! I get that momma bears do anything for their cubs and give up their whole world for their kids, but Holly.. these people aren't really your kids! don't give up a million dollars for them!! she says "Chase & Alina you've both called our camp home" and she's completely turned on the original Espada.. which honestly they were gonna vote her out, so why not, right? but when you get to the merge you're just gonna be outnumbered again.. you're playing to win, not to finish in 8th.. She shoulda kept Yve. She needs to keep Dan. she needs to target Alina. Alina opened up about being on the outs.. she should have capitalized on that.. (and yes i know, its easy to say "woulda shoulda coulda" while sitting at home on your couch) in this game you need someone stronger than you and someone you can beat.. that way you're not the target regardless.. if the tribe wants to keep strong you're not the target. if the tribe wants to vote out the threat.. you're not the target. Holly is putting herself back in the minority and aligning with people who are physically stronger than her. She frustrates me so much!! maybe she'll win another food challenge and get the shakes so bad it shakes some sense into her.


Benry:
"Na, like uh... toot" i think Benry's days in this game are numbered. We're seeing him be the star of the show a little too much as of late. He has a tight alliance with Invisib... uhh i mean Purple.. Kelly, Brenda, Chase, Na Onka, Fabio & Sash.. but i think he's on the bottom of the totem pole out of that group and when it becomes an individual game Jane & Dan's weakness are gonna overthrow Benry's strength.

Jane:
"i want my cake and i want to eat it too!" whats the sense in having caking if you can't eat it, right? i agree with you Jane. i got your back on this one. I love her. I hope she wins. she won't but i hope she does. She's just a favorite of mine. If Holly's my mom, Jane's my granny. Who else on that island can catch fish, start a fire and cook it all by themselves? noone, thats who!
So if you didn't love Jane before (and how could you not??) i bet you do now. I hope there's a Jane on season 22.. and 23... and 24... and 25 etc etc. We don't have enough Jane's on Survivor.. or in the world. I'm so glad this season was separated old vs young tho or she wouldn't have stood a chance. so many models are recruited on this show and its a shame because its real people like Jane (and Sandy from Tocantins) that viewers tune into see and sometimes the odds just aren't in their favor. I'm glad she had a fighting chance. Maybe casting will realize how amazing she is and when casting the older crazy funny lady role in future installments they won't put her on a tribe full of 20 somethings who are there just for a tan and vacation and a little fame.

Dan:
"He can't jump either!" now i love Dan. i do. i think he's great. i love that he can't even talk without having to stop for breath and take a nap mid sentence then he gets in front of Jeff at Tribal and says "no way, Jeff! i don't want to quit! i'm not weak! i'd much rather be here on this island starving than at home in one of my 6 houses!" he's so cocky. now lets not get confused, i'm not saying he's an asset because he's not. he is pretty much useless! but he's HILARIOUS. that immunity challenge was probably the funniest moment of this season! i loved it!

Na Onka:
and she's back! my bitchy Na is back! i'm so happy! i love her. Na Onka is one of my favorite cast members of ALL time. I've watched Survivor since i was 12 years old. i remember when it was originally on Wednesday nights, thats alot of years and a lot of Survivors and i have to say Na Onka ranks up there on my list as an all time favorite (Jane as well) but before i get more into it, i have to say she looked like a freakin warrior in that reward challenge!i love me a good villain. i don't want Na Onka to tame it down AT ALL.. but if she did tame it down and her and holly could meet in the middle. a combination of Na Onka & Holly.. (and by that i mean someone sweet, nurturing, but weary of everything) could be deadly in this game. Her & Holly need to team up. they probably won't. but they need to. and for what its worth, i'd much rather be the one that didn't know how to milk a cow than the one whose a pro at it..
Jill:
So glad she's gone! SOOOO GLAD she's gone! i cant' stand people who can't think for themselves in this game. She had all the makings for a great survivor contestant. i don't fault casting for putting her on the show because they had no way of knowing she'd be a complete disappointment and failure. i mean she had all the fixings! she was like Thanksgiving dinner! she had it all.. and she just threw it out to the dogs. Marty being the dog in this case. She said "its either me or marty & marty has the idol"... why does marty have that idol, Jill?? oh you don't know? BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IDIOT! THATS WHY!!! i for one won't miss her. it was a long time coming.

Marty:
i know i say it every week but he never ceases to amaze me with how absolutely ridiculous he is. I will give credit where credit is due and say that his ability to hold on to the idol and not play it was a smart one. like he said "if i use it now i'll just go home next" and he held out and it paid off.. like he said last night "if i don't give it to Sash i'll have to get rid of it and play it anyway, regardless i'm going home atleast this way i have a chance".. so i do give him credit for that. but this is a game where you have to swallow your pride. how he acted over Jane. he's such a little suckbaby. i just want to meet him personally so i can disagree with him. he clearly can't stand it when people call him out on his bullshit. he has control issues.... and people with control issues in an environment where the unexpected is the only thing to be expected makes for high quality entertainment!

well thats all folks. until next week... (when we see Na Onka causing chaos)

i think dimensia is setting in for these old folks

Dan reveals he has a ferrari, Holly suffers a memory lapse, Marty is delusional... forget Ponderosa, these old folks are headed straight to the nursing home when they get the boot!
so last night was the double boot episode. & i woke up this morning and read blog after blog that people were stupid for not getting rid of Marty! he has an idol therefore he's a threat! & how dare everyone vote out Kelly B just because of her leg. I even read that "Brenda only wanted her gone because of her leg. Brenda made fun of her for having an artificial leg last night"... i'm not so sure i watched the same episode as that guy but whatever.. lets start from the beginning

HOLLY
Dan wants to quit. blah blah. the only thing shocking about that was little miss Holly chiming in about how he should have never even signed up if all he wanted to do was quit! Now i like Holly. i do. she seems down home and super sweet. great morals in that gal, but I'm gonna have to call bullshit on that one. at least Dan waited 2 weeks in. Holly was in tears wanting to quit on Day 4! Holly is in a great position in this game! she has the young kids on her side. she was next to go on Espada. no questions asked! her head was in the guillotine! now here she is with Yve & Dan.. both were gonna send her home no doubt about it.. Holly is probably the most physically fit of any of the old people and half of the young people out there. she's a HUGE physical threat in my eyes.. but here's Yve who doesn't seem all that weak & then there's Dan who can't even sit down without complaining of his knees hurting. He's worthless! HOLLY! what are you talking about!! you don't' need a strong tribe! you have that with Chase & NaOnka & Benry.. you don't need that with Yve. as soon as Yve joins back up with Marty & Jill she's gonna gun for you again! No questions asked you can ANNIHILATE Dan in a challenge. You wanna keep the tribe strong you're gonna go right back to where yous tarted... at the bottom of the totem pole. If you see a crack bust through there like a hurricane and use that segue to advance you further in the game. Don't even consider getting rid of Dan! I was so confused by her giving Yve ammunition to stay in this game. like i said she seems like a sweet lady, but being sweet doesn't get you a million dollars!

DAN
now i really like Dan. i love that he admits to having 6 cars & 3 houses. i love that he complained to his tribe that Holly ruined the shoes he paid $1600 for. A lot of people would think he's crazy. i would much rather vote for someone who is wealthy & independent to win the money that someone who is lazy and doesn't work and is relying solely on the show to be successful. if you work hard in life you get rewarded. if you're a 40 year old waitress i'm sorry that doesn't cut it in my opinion.

NA ONKA
i'm glad we're not seeing "bully" Na Onka anymore.. okay i'm lying. i miss her like crazy! but i think what we're seeing is the real Na Onka and CBS ran out of possible bad edits for her. Lets go back to the beginning.. episode 1 & 2 we really didn't see the bitchy side of Na Onka. we heard her say "if that leg flies off she's out of here".. well in her defense, if that leg flies off and she has to go to tribal council as a result of that loss her neck is on the line! So thats a pretty valid concern. It wasn't until after Shannon's elimination at tribal when Shannon said she was his target and that him, Kelly B, Alina & Fabio wanted her out that she started being a total bitch to Kelly B and throwing out the insults. you can cry and say she's evil and you don't like her and she gives you nightmares and you have the mindset and intimidation factor of a 4th grader all you want but truth is, she didn't do a damn thing to Kelly B. Just like we saw her say last night in regards to Dan "he's weak. pretty soon he's gonna be walking on nubs" whats the difference in her saying that about Dan and saying "Kelly B, gurrrrl you better have that leg under control!" .. if you have a potential to slow the tribe down you best be prepared to handle yourself when someone confronts you over it. this isn't charity. its survivor. everyone wants to win. Na Onka even gave her credit for doing well in the challenge, if you remember. But i miss the bitchy edit Na.

BRENDA
Brenda is brilliant. Throw in a little bit of Parvati, mix it with some Cirie, add some Russell factor, stir it all up and you have Brenda. She will bat her lashes and swing her hips just like parvati, smile to your face & charm you into believing everything she's telling you just like cirie, then she'll slit your throat like Russell. She has what it takes to win this game. I think she'll go far. Her only problem is she's in an alliance with Chase. She's in an alliance with Na Onka. She's in an alliance with Sash. She's in an alliance with Kelly Purple. She's in an alliance with Fabio... & thats all good because the majority of numbers is what you want in this game but she seems to be the glue that holds them all together.. and when that alliance starts to crumble.. and it will.. there can only be ONE winner in this game.. people are gonna start looking at her. That lone wolf, the last man standing from the opposite alliance, is gonna try and weasel his way. he's gonna use the whole "well she's tight with everyone. you're never gonna be able to beat her"... and thats true. So if she can overcome that she'll win the game.

KELLY PURPLE
okay, i'm totally kidding. i have nothing to say about her. i've never seen someone so edited out of the show in 21 seasons of Survivor. not even Brett from Samoa had it this bad!



so those are my castaway highlights this episode.. now back to the show.. I would have gotten rid of Marty, but i totally understand why they didn't. Yes he has an idol.. but you have to have more than an idol to survive in this game. & the only thing more than an idol that he has is Jill. yeah, its sad, i know. He's not a threat. He's a delusional old man who (and now this is just my opinion, we're all allowed to have our opinion so before you start bashing me go shoot yourself) more than likely beats his wife & children and makes them call him master everyday. and he's so used to being the leader in his every day life because he intimidates people into thinking he is one and so out here on this little island he's convinced himself that he can control these people as well... (okay okay i'm exaggerating a little bit but you get what i mean. & on a sidenote: if he's not married- thats probably why!) he's insane. he's like Coach from Tocantins. lost in his own little fairy tale land. The only difference is i think Coach played it up and doesn't really care if you believe him or not. Marty starts shooting steam from his ears if you doubt him. & the best part about Survivor.. there's always gonna be someone doubt you. Marty won't last much longer. He's a nut job! He's like that dying mouse that the cat plays with & Brenda is his cat. That poor little mouse holds on to hope that it will survive but we all know it won't. Marty holds on to hope that he can convince people to believe him.. but he won't. noone will ever believe him and the reason: they don't live in Martyville. I won't miss Kelly B or Yve. they were basically pointless (not as much as Kelly Purple who hopefully will go soon along with Jill) to have on the show.

criss cross make you wanna jump jump.. or something like that

so yeah maybe i should wait and blog AFTER the show so we have a little new stuff to discuss but thats okay, i'm interesting enough to make this work so here goes..

oh wait! before i start i'm gonna miss Jimmy T. .. okay now lets begin

So i don't think its any shock a tribal swap is happening anyone whose ever watched the show would have expected it. Any time the tribes are divided by a specific genre a switch happens (except Heroes vs Villains but that was the 10th anniversary season and the motto was even changed so thats different)

Marty & Brenda end up on the same tribe.. i hope Marty brought his pen & paper to take notes because she's about to take his ass to school! i would be shocked to learn Marty has ever even seen a single episode of Survivor. I don't think he's going to be able to control the minds of Brenda & her alliance like he does Jill & Dan.

I'm not exactly sure who ends up on what side i've been trying to gather it from preview clips but its just not working out for me.. mainly because i can't really focus on anything after i see Na Onka in tears (which i'll get to in a minute) but i hope my favorites have a majority alliance and are able to pull it off until merge. Just incase you're unclear my favorites include: Na Onka, Jane, Brenda & Benry.

I'm kinda disappointed to see Na Onka crying. Its not that i want to see her live up to the bitch role she's gotten herself into, its more so that i want to see her own it & not have any regrets. I don't think she's really as bitchy as she comes across (& as i blogged in my last one i personally don't think she's really all that mean) But don't get soft, thats a weakness. & then when you're trying to come across hard people are just gonna remember you in tears and not really be all that intimidated. There's a million dollars on the line, steal all the socks & throw all the elbows it takes to get to the end. I was promised a hurricane not a tropical storm. i heard a rumor 2 people quit this season (which is really disappointing to me) and i really hope one of them isn't her.

i think with the swap coming Kelly B, Marty, Yve, Jill, & Holly are in trouble. (and i know thats a lot of people but this is my blog so shut up) Here's my reasoning: (again i don't know who ends up in a minority/majority so i could be totally wrong) Holly is the strongest of the old people. She's the most physically fit and the young kids aren't gonna vote off one of their own (if they're smart) and the old guys are gonna say "you know what! she did go a little off her rocker on us a while back" (or thats what i'd say anyway).. The same with Kelly B. if the young guys end up in the minority they'll say "you know what, we should get rid of her. she's a sympathy vote" because they don't really seem to like her as it is & if one of 'em has to go i think they'll throw her under the bus. Jill can't think for herself so if she ends up without Marty she'll be lost. She'll probably quit too. She did mention a few episodes ago she didn't know how much more of this she could take.. maybe that was foreshadowing (i hope she's out soon. i can't stand to watch people like her. her & amanda kimmel need to go have little helpless, clueless, defenseless babies. Yve doesn't really seem like she has a strong alliance. she's quiet. she seems on the outs of her tribe (i would predict she's next to go had the swap not happened) so similar to the first two i mentioned, if one of them has to go i think Espada will throw her to the wolves. Marty, i think he'll go because he's delusional. he's bossy. he's egotistical. he's a fool, really! he feels threatened by anyone who can walk & speak for themselves (hence his alliance with Jill & Dan) and Brenda has pretty much been calling the shots on her tribe and the previews show them clashing a little bit and regardless if she's in the minority or not the difference in Brenda & Marty is that she doesn't have to control weak minds, she's smart enough to make strong minded people see from her point of view as well. She'll mop the floor (.. or the sandy beach) with his ass. (and i for one can't wait to see it!!)

My predictions for a boot tonight: Marty, Yve or Holly.



My predictions for final 4: Brenda, Chase, Fabio... Kelly Purple or Jane could fill that last void.. i think Jane will go far if she makes merge.

My predictions for a winner: Chase.

color me villain

So Survivor Nicaragua premiered 3 weeks ago and this is shaping up to be one of the greatest seasons in the show's history. We have a diverse cast. We have the lovable Jane. We have the delusional Jimmy T. We have the hot guy Chase & the hot girl Brenda (and it makes it even better that they're in an alliance/showmance) and we have the villain Na Onka. What more could you ask for in a season!?

There's been quite some controversy surrounding Na Onka (and its only 3 episodes in!) & she's getting quite the backlash from Survivor fans around the world. Even Jeff Probst tweeted she did one of the meanest things he's ever saw! Other blogs have stated she's heartless and just needs to do us all a favor and shut up. How dare she say those things about an amputee and better yet even push her down to get a clue to a hidden immunity idol!? WHAT A BITCH...

well sit back, shut your mouth, and prepare to be schooled. Grab a dictionary if you need it and study the definition of "mean" & brush up on your Survivor history...

What makes Na Onka such a bitch?
Episode 1 we heard her say "You think you can outrun me with that leg? well bitch lets race!" - SCANDAL!! .. but wait, didn't Tyrone basically say the same thing? yes! yes, he did! When Jeff asked him if he would take it easy on her he flat out said "no" and he's a grown man. A pretty physically fit grown man too! So why no controversy surrounding that?
Episode 2: She stole Fabio's socks and yelled at him and said "I can get loud too!" .. now if memory serves me correctly Sandra said VERBATIM "i can get loud too" (only she added a few cuss words to the end of it making hers far more worse) to Johnny Fairplay in Pearl Islands so surely that wasn't it.. Not to mention Russell stole socks and burned them his first night in Samoa! So why just the outpouring of hate toward Na Onka?
Episode 3 we saw her push a girl down to get a clue to a hidden immunity idol... wait, where was the backlash over Amanda & Danielle doing the same thing in Heroes Vs Villains? Maybe America is just upset because she smushed bananas. After all that is there food!.. hold up, didn't Sandra dump a whole bucket of fish? Didn't Holly JUST dump snails in episode 2? that was their food too!

Maybe her attitude is just too abrasive for some, i bet thats it! She's just too much for some to handle. I mean after all she did say she got "hood".. Thank God Ben from Samoa wasn't there to call her ghetto trash or tell her to go eat a ketchup sandwich! & Kelly B better glad she's only got one leg and not crying over her dead father because any true Survivor fan knows that Corinne wouldn't stand for that! Maybe she shouldn't have "pushed" Kelly B to the ground... but then again maybe Robb shouldn't have physically choked Clay in Thailand either. Where were his haters?? Come to think of it, she's not nearly as bad as many of the past Survivor's we've seen... Lets stroll down memory lane, shall we?

Season 1: Borneo. Sue tells Kelly "i wouldn't give you water if you dying of thirst. I'd let the vultures do with you what they will" Now to my knowledge Sue was praised for that moment! One of the best in Survivor history! EPIC! HISTORICAL! .. but isn't that saying i hope you die? i'm pretty sure it is.. I don't think Na Onka has ever said anything close to that! (but hey, it has only been 3 episodes)

Season 5: Thailand. As i touched on earlier, Robb physically choked Clay. He grabbed him by the throat and choked him! Ghandia even accused Ted of molesting her. Pretty tough allegations there, Denver Diva!

Season 7: Pearl Islands. Sandra dumped the tribe's fish. Rupert stole the tribes clothes. Fairplay lied about his grandmother dying. Sandra got in Fairplay's face and yelled "I CAN GET LOUD TOO" just like Na Onka to Fabio. & Lets not forget even sweet little old Rupert who everyone loves drew his fist back to hit Fairplay and threatened violence. Not to mention Sandra swore a lie on her kids life.

Season 8: All Stars Big Tom says Jenna should be ashamed of herself for even coming on the show with a sick mother. Kind of like kicking her when she's down, don't you think? Pretty harsh in my opinion. Rich rubbed his naked body on Sue, people go to prison for that stuff! (he did, but not for that)

Season 9: Vanuatu Twila swore a lie on her son's life. At final 4 Twila, Scout & Chris basically harassed Eliza every second of every day. Kinda mean to the poor girl, bullying her... just in the past 3 weeks there have been 4 teens commit suicide because of bullying. It can be a pretty tough thing to handle!

Survivor 15: China. Courtney made fun of Denise's hairstyle. her appearance. Said she must be so sad to look the way she does and live the way she does. Denise even lied to MARK BURNETT and got $25k!! out of it!

Season 17: Gabon. Wow, what didn't Randy & Corinne do or say to poor Sugar & Susie? That whole season was full of mean spirited insults! I could sit here and list all day long but i think we've all seen that season.

Season 18: Tocantins. Lets not forget the comment Coach made at the immunity challenge following Sandy's exit about her. Or how Tyson treated Sierra. Or Coach & Debbie treated Sierra. Mean ol' Tyson, Coach, & Debbie!!

Season 19: Samoa. Russ lied about being a Hurricane Katrina Survivor. He stole socks. Poured out water. Hid machetes. Ben called Yasmine "ghetto trash" and told her to go eat a ketchup sandwich. Ben was kicked out of a challenge for unnecessary physical violence. Shambo's entire tribe made fun of her looks and isolated her!

Season 20: HvV -. Jerri called Parvati a slut. Parvati said Russell looked like a toothless troll... Danielle & Amanda fought over a clue to a hidden immunity idol as well.

In Australia a 60 year old man who couldn't swim had to jump off a 100+ foot cliff. A vegetarian had to eat sea slugs to win immunity. In Amazon a deaf girl had to miss out on late night. strategizing because she couldn't see to read lips. In Samoa a 300 pound man was body slammed in a challenge and had to be removed from the game because of it..

My point is Kelly B knew coming into Survivor there would be tough obstacles to face.

ANYONE whose there to win the game would fight over a clue (its happened before and i'm sure it will happen again) despite who you're up against. One leg, two legs, three legs... doesn't matter! a hidden immunity idol clue is a potential lifeline in the game! I'm pretty sure your family will forgive you for swearing a lie on their lives when you bring home a large sum of cash! Everyone is there with one goal in mind: TO WIN! No one signed up to help someone else win, they signed up to play because they wanted to win themselves! Only a fool (cough* Ian cough*) would give up the game for someone else.

Nothing Na Onka has said or done hasn't been done before on the show, in fact (as i just listed) a lot worse has been said and done on the show.
So my question to all the Na Onka "haters" is why? why do you hate her so bad? what has she done that you feel is so horrible? I could care less if people love or hate her, its a game and its all a matter of opinion of who you like and don't like. However i think its a bit much to call her the meanest person to ever play the game and say she's mean spirited and "pure evil" as people have said.

I'm sure some will respond with "Michael you don't know anything" or "you're one of 3 who like her" (just a little fact about me, i could care less if the entire world is doing it, i'm the kinda person who makes up my own mind. i'm not easily influenced by others).. and thats your opinion you're allowed to have it. But i'm not asking you to agree or disagree with me. I'm asking you, after me just listing all the things thats happened in past seasons compared to what Na Onka has said & done in season 21 what makes you consider her to be the biggest bitch? I will agree she is definitely the biggest villain on Season 21 of the show, but in the show's history? She doesn't even come close! (and i would say thats just my opinion but i've kind provided facts to back it up so i guess its not technically an opinion, right?)