sizing up the competition

since Na Onka's exit there hasn't really been anything blog worthy so forgive me for my absence as of late. Although last wednesday's episode was amazing its hard to write an entire blog about jane flipping her shit and throwing a bucket of water on the fire.. but with the finale tonight i thought i'd write one last blog and size up the competition to try and determine a winner...

not since Fans vs. Favorites have we seen a "deserving" winner take the title of Sole Survivor. now don't get me wrong, if you make it to the finals you deserve something. no way in hell could i last that long without brushing my teeth, but when i say "deserving" i mean someone who took control of their own game. made their own decisions. had a key role in them being there. We've seen Bob who made it to the end because of his strong alliance. Sandra because she was weak and they could all beat her in a final challenge. Natalie because Russell told her what to do, JT because he was just so well liked.. I want to see a Stephen, a Russell, a Parvati (again) take home the win.

SASH
I wouldn't be disappointed if Sash won. From the beginning of this game Sash was 1/2 of the power couple calling all the shots. But all good things must come to an end and what goes up must come down and Sash's empire came crumbling down at final 9. His ability to go from the top of the food chain all the way to the bottom then make his way slowly back up the line makes him a deserving winner in my eyes... but he's made about 47 empty promises so its doubtful they'll reward him with the win....

DAN
Dan is one of those people who should never win the game of Survivor. He's pretty entertaining but he's entertaining because he sucks. He's kinda like Sandra or Bob. He only made it as far as he did because he had an alliance who protected him and he outlasted his alliance because he's so incredibly weak that the rest of the Libertad tribe knows they can beat him. I expect to see Dan in the final 3 but it'll be a miracle if he actually wins.

HOLLY


Holly turned on her ally on day one to keep herself in the game longer and its been a consistent game play from her ever since. She broke down in episode 2 (which i LOVED) threw away her tribes food, destroyed their belongings and threatened to quit the game. She got lucky when her tribe won an immunity challenge and staged a complete turn around. After a tribal swap she saw the opportunity to once again stay in the game and turned on those she was close to. She was the one behind Sash's downfall and Brenda's ouster, ultimately eliminating the biggest threat in the game and knocking the next biggest competitor off his pedastal down to the bottom of the totem pole. She's voted them out with a smile on her face and everyone loves her. She's the mother of the camp. She's more of the wicked stepmother only they don't know it. She serves them potroast marinated in toxins. & that kind of game play and ability to stay under the radar without staying under the radar so to speak is what makes her a HUGE threat to win this game. And in my opinion she truly deserves it. But with her cocky attitude at the last tribal council and that smug little "yeah" she gave when asked if she was in charge may come back to haunt her.... we'll see.

FABIO


Fabio is another Sandra. He's so likable by fans that a lot of people are blinded by his likability. yeah, i like him. He's funny, but does he deserve a million dollars? no. his game is horrible. He's said on more than one occasion that his naivety is an act. its not an act. If Fabio was actually a smart player and he was pretending to be dumb he would not have voted with Shannon. He would not have aligned with Marty or Dan. He wouldn't have been out of the loop with Benry's elimination. Fabio is not pretending to be stupid. Fabio IS stupid. He's made it to the final 5 out of pure luck and because his competitors decided on their own to vote someone else out instead and he won an immunity idol. he didn't do anything to keep them from voting him out or get to this point. He made it to final 5 based on pure luck. Will he win? i think he can beat Chase, i think he can beat Dan & i think he can beat Sash... so yeah, its possible. Will he get to the final 3? doubtful... but there's 2 more immunity challenges so he might.

CHASE

There is no doubt in my mind Chase will be in the final 3. He's the one person that i can say with absolute certainty will be there. I'm not sure why, I just believe he will. He's the Colby, the Mick, the JT, he's the all american. He has finalist written all over him before the show ever even made it to air. Will he win? He's too indecisive. He made an alliance with Shannon, turned on him for Brenda, turned on her for Jane, turned on her for Holly... He'll flub worse than Amanda Kimmel could ever even imagine during jury pleas. He'll finish 3rd this season. I can't see him being able to convince anyone as to why he should win. I suspect it to go something along the lines of "i played hard and i did it for my father. i'll donate some to charity" He's pretty much guaranteed Na Onka & Jane's vote but i'm willing to bet he'll find a way to screw that up.


There is an NFL Double Header tonight on CBS so the finale may be airing late so set your DVR's accordingly...

whats your thoughts?
who do you want to see win?
who do you think deserves to win?
who will win the Sprint fan favorite? - (i think Jane)
and don't forget the first look at the season 22 will also be shown tonight!!

Survivor Nicaragua Hall of Fame

So recently the inductees to the Survivor Hall of Fame were released. Fans of the show & Jeff Probst apparently came up with the 5 Survivors admitted... but because there are so many typos and mistakes in it, i figured i'd re-do it for you all. (you can read the original [completely wrong list] here)

1.)Yul - hands down the best strategist to EVER play this game.
2.)Todd - he knew this game inside & out and had a flawless victory. he controlled his alliance better than anyone in 21 seasons of this game.
3.)Parvati - she went from the clueless flirt her first time around, to one of the most devious masterminds the game has ever seen and won the million dollars for it. She went from a target on day one with a 3 person alliance vs 7 and made it to the final tribal council.
4.)Russell - there has never been a player more manipulative & more hated that has managed to convince people not even in his alliance to turn on their own like him.
5.)Cirie - looking at the woman you would never in a million years guess she could do the things she did on Survivor. She gave us one of the biggest survivor blunders EVER in making Erik gaving up his idol.


..... now to Nicaragua.

There's been some amazing players over the past 10 years so i'm not sure if anyone this time around can dethrown them to earn their spot in the top 5 best as of yet.. maybe if there was a top 10.. so with the finale just a week away and a boring episode last week (so no blog from me) i decided i would do a Survivor Nicaragua Hall of Fame ...

1.)Jane - who would have ever guessed based on photos and bios that this little old lady would come out there with a feisty attitude win two very physical individual immunity challenges, talk about P90x & carrying guns.. she's amazing. i absolutely love her. and i hope the likes of Jane will really show the casting department that America loves relatable people. yes, sometimes we do want to see people with the bodies of Alina & Benry out there.. but you can either be hot or entertaining. you can't be both. i've never known someone who was smart, funny & sexy... it doesn't work like that. you're living in the jungle with no bath, i can assure you regardless of your abs or how little your bikini is noone's turned on by that because we know just under those bottoms is crusted over goodies that smell like a bag of rotten onions. we'd rather have entertainment. so listen up, CBS!

2.)Dan - the guy is probably the weakest person the show has ever had, physically. he doesn't do anything. nothing. i'm honestly surprised we haven't seen the medical team out there giving him oxygen this season. where did he come from? BUT he's hilarious. he's probably 4 foot 2 and he's so smug and cocky and its like, why?? you have no reason to be! and thats what makes him funny. the fact that someone like him who should have honestly been hacked up and eaten on day 1 is still in the game puts him in the Nicaragua Hall of Fame in my eyes.

3.)Na Onka - yes she quit. i'm just as disappointed as you are, probably more because i actually liked her but you have to give the girl credit. when has there ever been someone who has been so OPENLY villainous to their entire tribe? we've seen some pretty mean villains in the past but they mainly hide behind confessionals and one on ones. She doesn't give a shit and i would bet my life that had she not quit she would still be in the game. Brenda was her ally. Brenda found her a clue, Brenda had her in good with Chase, Brenda protected her and she slit her throat. She was really starting to play the game for herself and to win.. but then she quit. but quitting aside, she did what noone has ever done in the past and what i'm willing to bet noone could do again. to be that big of a bitch to your face and make it that far in that game amazes me.

4.)Sash - Sash had it all. Perfect plan, perfect alliance, he had people giving him immunity idols, he was the tie that binds his alliance to the enemy. he was that liason. perfect strategy. he had the votes of his alliance and the votes of the other side.. then it crumbled. he lost Brenda, he lost Na Onka, he lost Purple Kelly... then he became the swing vote. He won immunity, he has a hidden idol, he's in a good spot in this game right now. He went from the highest of the high to the lowest of the low and now he's on his way back up... to experience all sides of the game is what puts Sash in the Nicaragua Hall of Fame.

5.)Holly - I'm one of those people who when i watch the show i have my favorites. i have those that i love to root for that are so entertaining and funny (i usually love the villains) but i'm also one of those people who give credit where credit is due and even if you are my favorite, i'll admit if someone else in the game is playing better than you... Holly is that person playing better than you. No one is playing this game like Holly. She truly deserves to win this million dollars & the title of sole survivor this season. She went from wanting to quit, to being in the minority, to taking her fate into her own hands, switching to the other side, she is always one of the last ones standing in an immunity challenge, she orchestrated Brenda's ouster, she stepped up for her tribe and got them food & a tarp, she is the mastermind behind all key moves in this game. She doesn't let people walk away to themselves, she's been seen on more than one occasion running up in the middle of people strategizing voicing her opinions. Na Onka, Alina, Benry, Chase have all stated she reminds them of their mother.. thats a huge comparison. If Holly makes it to the end she'll win hands down and i feel she honestly deserves too. With two episodes, 6 castaways, 3 immunity challenges & 2 hidden immunity idols still in the game, only time will tell if she can get to the final tribal council but based on what we've seen of her thus far i think she will and i think she'll win, which is great because it'll be the first time since Fans vs Faves we've had a deserving winner...

she quit. get over it!

before i get into my blog i want to direct everyone to go read my first blog i did dedicated to Na Onka because i know i'm gonna get a lot of feedback about the villain side of her:

color me villain

now lets get to it...

Na Onka has been getting a lot of negative feedback from viewers, bloggers & even the lovely host of the show and i just want to say each and every one of you "haters" are pretty f'n stupid. let me break it down for you:

1.) it is a GAME. not a game like monopoly or yahtzee but a game in which you live in the wild and sleep in the wild and eat nothing more than a half a coconut shell full of rice a day and you are competing for 1 million dollars.

- In the past we have seen the likes of Bob, Sandra, Natalie, Danni, Chris, Amber.. etc etc win because they were took to the end for the sole fact that obviously they are beatable.. right? you don't have to answer that because i know i'm right. You have people like Parvati, Russell, Sugar, Stephenie, Rob & Twila who don't get the vote just because the jury didn't appreciate their game play and voted out of pure spite & bitterness.. so to say that Na Onka didn't have a shot at winning this game.. i think she did. We've seen less deserving people win. Had Na Onka went to the end with Purple Kelly & Dan she would have won hands down. Yes, she was a bitch. but she was likable by her alliance. Brenda, Chase, Sash.. they liked her.

2.)She was a bitch. who the hell cares! she was a bitch who brought ratings!!

- please enlighten me on a single episode that didn't end with "Stay tuned for previews for our next episode" that didn't show a preview clip of something Na Onka was doing or saying. Half the time it was showing shit about her that didn't even happen! (i.e At merge she was shown in extremely clean clothes saying she would vote out Alina.. did that happen on the show.. no! it was a clip from probably day 1 based on her clothes. this past week everyone was talking about Na Onka did it this time. Dan was shown saying if she was one of the guys she would never get away with it... was that even shown on the show? NO! - Na Onka was ratings gold for Nicaragua!!) It is a game for one million dollars! She not once hesitated to speak her mind and give a damn what anyone thought of her throughout the entire season when she had to wake up next to them in the morning so why is everyone so surprised that she was "selfish" and didn't give up her reward when she wasn't? Despite whether she's leaving or not she still won that reward. she fought her ass for it! she deserved it. & make no mistake about it Jeff didn't say anyone was required to give up their spot. Holly volunteered for that, now make no mistake i LOVE holly. and i truly honestly feel she deserves to win based on game play & strategy, but nobody made her volunteer. If anyone should have given up their spot it should have been Dan. Even Jeff said "you didn't do anything and you're enjoying the reward."

3.)She's the worst player ever!!!

- umm no she's not. she made it to final 9 and had she not quit i'm pretty sure she would have gotten farther... after 21 seasons & 16-20 people per season there's an average of about 9 people per season who didn't make it as far as she did... kinda speaks for itself. she's not the worst player ever. She did great in challenges, she won rewards, she didn't fly under the radar, she had an amazing alliance & an immunity idol... i can assure she's nowhere near the worst.

4.) She quit. big deal!

- Osten, Janu, Ian, Kathy... the list goes on. Several people have quit this game! Has anyone ever gotten such a big backlash as Na Onka? no! why? because Na Onka has been given the villain role this season. She's the bitch we all love to love (okay maybe i love to love her.. you guys love to hate her.. admit, you LOVE to hate her. Nicaragua would be a big kumbaya love fest without her. Especially since Shannon left so early) I don't condone quitting. I would love to see people try and stick it out, but ultimately its their decision. she wasn't the first and she won't be the last. Is it fair to Brenda, Alina & Marty? hell yes it is! doesn't matter if she would have quit or stayed in the game they would still be out! wtf the does it matter to the three of them? oh there are thousands of people at home who would love to play this game that didn't get the shot and then she quits, again WHO THE HELL CARES! get over yourself! you wouldn't have been cast anyway. you still would have lost out to another up and coming actor/model found on the streets of LA like whatshisname (dammit, Benry!)

5.) Her family is ashamed of her! can you believe this bitch teaches kids!!

- I'm not sure what kind of family you have that would ever be ashamed of you for something you did but just because you don't have love and support from yours doesn't mean others don't from theirs. yes, they probably wanted her to stick it out to the end and go for the money but she didn't. thats her decision, not theirs. she still got the opportunity of a lifetime, she still made it (she says) as far as she could... (you, me or anyone else for that matter doesn't know for sure, its her body, its her word. we didn't feel what she felt, we gotta take her word for it.) She was labeled as a physical education teacher at a YMCA.. there's no denying she was pretty physically fit. I honestly don't see what she did that was so despicable. she didn't "tackle" (seriously people, learn the definition of tackle) an amputee to the ground. she didn't do anything or say anything that i wouldn't have done or said if i was in a game for a million dollars. she spoke her mind and stepped up when people got in her face. had she just sat there she would have been boring and people would have criticized her for that too! just go read the blog linked at the beginning of this post. I'm pretty sure her employer has known her long enough to know the personality portrayed on television was the personality of someone competing for a life changing amount of money. Obviously thats not how she comes across in her every day life or she wouldn't have that job in the first place... and if she's so bad then you need to talk down to her employer for hiring someone like that to be around kids.

She was my favorite this season. sucks she's gone. i wish she wouldn't have quit, but she did. it was her decision. get over it people. she's nowhere near as bad as you guys are wanting her to be or trying to make her out to be. brush up on your Survivor history.. she's a tame little kitten compared to some of the villains the shows had.

"I just want a hotdog"

normally i write my blogs in segments on each castaway.. there wasn't really a lot to discuss about very many of them in this week's show so its gonna be a little different than usual..

back in the day when Survivor had originally aired on Wednesday nights & the reunion show was hosted by Rosie O'Donnell & Bryant Gumball (Dear CBS, thank you for Jeff..) i was watching Survivor. Back when Survivor had a diverse cast even on seasons that didn't involve a special twist. Back when people as old as Tina & KY Joe, Kim J & Big Tom made it to the end (now make no mistake about it.. i'm not a fan of Kim J or Big Tom.. i'm just using them as an age example here) Back when we had vegetarians competing in food challenges. Old women like Linda & Teresa drinking blood straight from a cows neck. People like KY Joe who can't swim jumping off a cliff to win a challenge... what i'm getting at is back when Survivor was good. honestly. i mean the show has kinda slowed down. viewers like people they can relate too. viewers like people who have the drive & the determination. viewers like people have the want & the need to be there. Viewers don't like quitters (aside from Jenna Morasca who had a justifiable reason)... the sooner the casting department learns this, the better.. (Hopefully amazing older women like Jane & Holly this season make them realize that) I'm a huge Na Onka fan. she brought the entertainment. love her or hate her, admit it. i know it, you know it, she knows it & CBS knows it. there's a reason why in every promo clip for the next week it was about something Na Onka did. she was ratings gold! her crazy ass is the kinda stuff viewers tune in to see! but she let me down. i'm so disappointed that she quit.... and her defense being "i'm the only african american still here"... Na Onka! you colored blind woman?? there were only two of you there to begin with!! its not that hard to outlast an old man!! i'm so bummed she quit. huge letdown. & i'm a little harder on her than Kelly because i liked her. She was entertaining. Kelly wasn't.


"i'm not gonna be mediocre" - Na Onka said she wasn't gonna slack just because she wanted to quit. "I want to go out with a bang"... She basically said she doesn't care, she's doing what she wants to do, controversy or not. Na Onka isn't gonna give up her reward that she just won. She hasn't ate anything more than a coconut shell full of rice in 28 days. she's not gonna give up on a hotdog. she doesn't care if they get pissed at her. Even when she had intent on staying in the game she didn't give a shit what others thought of her, what the hell is everyone so surprised at that she didn't care when she wouldn't have to be there??? i don't get it. I loved how whatshisname... Homer or something? no, Benry.. thats it.. GOD! why do i keep forgetting about this guy!!... was like "stand up tell her to sit back down.." if you were that concerned with Holly eating why didn't you step up? you're not that concerned if Holly gets to eat. You're that concerned with making Na Onka feel like crap! .. again, make no mistake, i'm not defending Na Onka.. i'm just saying, lets not act like we're surprised because we're not.. and lets not contradict ourselves and act like she's so horrible for not giving up her food that she just worked her ass off for. regardless if she's going to eat later or not, she worked for that reward. if you want Holly to enjoy it, you give her your spot!



Purple Kelly quitting wasn't really that surprising. when i heard the news about 2 people quitting i assumed her & Dan. She seems like one of those spoiled little kids Jane was talking about at Tribal Council... (sidenote: every time i see Jane on my screen i just start singin in my head "in the summer time we didn't have shoes to wear.. but in the winter time we'd all get a brand new pair") and besides, the girl had to quit. she didn't have anything else to suck! duh, Holly!! you can't suck it up when you don't have anything else to suck! everyone knows that! whats the matter with you old woman! sheesh!



now to Holly... Holly has really been shining these past few episodes. She's getting an amazing edit for a winner and based on what i've seen of her she definitely deserves it. She takes over this mother role and the reason "Momma Holly" wasn't able to convince Na Onka & Kelly to stay was because, Momma Holly isn't from South Central LA... she's from South Duhkohduh (sorry, that was my lame attempt at a Holly impression) all she wanted was a hotdog!... and all she did was make me have visions of Jennifer Coolidge dancing around in my head wanting a hotdog... real bad! Holly telling Kelly "i didn't let my daughters quit track and they were state champs" didn't have any effect on her because Kelly doesn't run track. are you kidding me? Kelly was on the dance team or the cheerleading squad and i can assure you Mama Purple didn't force her to do anything she didn't want to... They even shipped her off to paradise to attend college. & That look she gave Na Onka didn't have any impact whatsoever on her. Na Onka is from the hood. Aint no middle aged white woman raising her eyebrows at her going to intimidate her. Pull out a gun and throw some gang signs, Holly. Thats how they do it in Compton.. or wherever she said she was from again.. Can you imagine Holly in the hood? turning that buff into a bandana? running around dressed like Sandy from Grease all in leather trying to cross her fingers into west coast gang signs?? oh that reminds me!..


After the premiere episode of Survivor a friend of mine said "doesn't Holly remind you of Olivia Newton John circa Xanadu?".. now being a straight male, i've never seen Xanadu, nor do i have intentions of ever watching it, but i do recall Pop Up Video on VH1 in the mid 90's and last night at Tribal Council with her buff around her around head and her one sleeved (whats up with that anyway?) blouse when the rain was glistening off her perfectly toned right arm i just imagined her jumping to her feet and looking at Fabio busting out "Let me hear your body talk! your body talk! Let me hear your body talk!!"