Thursday, March 25, 2010

"i don't ride coattails baby" Survivor Heroes vs Villians ep. 5 recap

now i know this guy who is a huge Amanda fan, and i admit sometimes i like to ruffle his feathers for the sake of argument because the guy can go all night long! if he lasts as long in the bedroom as he does in an argument he's got one lucky lady, with that said, i've packed my lunch and i'm well prepared for the battle, brian.

Amanda has played this game twice, but you couldn't prove it by me! she's made it to the end twice, again couldn't prove it by me! She's hands down the dumbest Survivor castaway to ever step foot in Samoa. "If JT doesn't vote with me, Rupert & James he's with Tom, Colby & Candice".... thanks genius, i'm so glad you cleared that up for us because i would have never known! She said at the beginning of the episode she didn't trust JT. She said in her confessional she couldn't trust JT, its there in her head, she knows voting out JT is the smartest thing to do, she's practically saying it herself! its like the lights are on but no ones home! i just wish someone would smack her in her face! Then she starts crying saying she doesn't know what she'll do without James. Then she asks Rupert for advice. Rupert? seriously? I've said it before and i'll say it again she's the brawn & she's always had the brains to depend on to get by, and she doesn't have that this time around and its like she's too stupid to function. She doesn't know what to do. She knows the logical thing to do is get rid of JT but she's not smart enough to put it into reality, She doesn't have Todd, Cirie or Parvati on her side this time around so she relies on JT's chance vote. She relies on James' chance injury. She's spent 3 of the last 4 episodes depending on Cirie, without her she turns to Rupert? really? For her sake & any shot at going far in this game i pray she makes it to the merge and i pray Parvati takes pity on her and finds a place for her on her coattail to take her to the end. Parvati's line to Russell "I don't ride coattails, baby" was probably the greatest line ever said in the history of the show. I loved it. Russell has met his match with Parvati. Notice how it was her said to share the information with Coach that he was a lost puppy. Coach is this "honorable" guy whose all about trust and in the words of Jenna Morasca (via her Fancast blog) he doesn't only march to beat of his own drum, he has his own freakin band! I've not seen anything that makes Coach a villain other than the fact he's not a fan favorite. Coach lives in his own little fantasy world full of unicorns and and rainbows and ninjas and care bears and he's like a naive 8th grader stuck in fantasy land where everyone is nice and takes their neighbors jell-o molds of the Eiffel Tower & Parvati realized this (along with everyone else, but rather than make fun of him, such as Rob & Sandra did with climbing the tree to gather coconuts) she capitalized on it, convinced Russell to pull him in, that way when they slit his throat he was the asshole and her hands are clean. I've said it time and time again Russell & Parvati are the two greatest strategists to ever play this game, the only difference in the two is Parvati looks better in a bikini, which is more powerful than any hidden immunity idol could ever be. Sandra, i love her to death, she's hilarious as can be. She's feisty, she's the biggest bitch, she's hateful as all get out, she speaks her mind she's ill tempered and impatient and has a hard time hiding her frustrations and she's never a target. The one challenge she actually competes in she gets pissy with everyone tonight, no one gets upset with her. No one ever says "Sandra is hateful" no one. no one even notices. How she does it i don't know. & i know you have to be a US Citizen to be on Survivor. She was on Survivor 7 years ago, why the hell does she still have such a thick accent? i mean really? whats up with it? i love it, its funny as hell, but why does she have it? I can understand her better than James tho. The heroes not voting him out just shows how completely stupid they are. I don't think Tom sucked at the challenge, i think it was more of Tom doesn't have closed captions relaying what his ears doesn't understand to his brain, so therefore he got confused. I can never understand anything James says. He's like Shrek. He's a big ol' stupid redneck ogre. Don't get me wrong tho, i'm glad Tom is gone, he was boring. I'm shocked James wasn't med evac'd tho. I'm kinda disappointed i didn't hear any of Tyson's great one liners tonight, but hey, with the editing crew taking the focus off of him maybe that means he won't be leaving as soon as i originally expected! Based on the previews for the next episode building up Russell & Rob's feud i say the villains lose and it will be an epic tribal council, which excites me!!! NO SPOILERS! JUST OPINIONS!! - who do you think will win between Russell & Rob? - Personally, i dont think Russell will weed out his idol so soon. I think Parvati has Courtney, Russell can get Coach, Coach has Tyson, possibly Jerri... maybe they can get the numbers to vote out Rob without using the idol?? But i think Rob has Jerri & Coach blinded by this mystery power that i've yet to see he has... so who knows.

No comments:

Post a Comment