Villified?

A Survivor Villain is someone who takes control of their destiny. Its impossible to win the game and be everyone's friend. If you do, you're a coattail rider. There are some people who are villains and just refuse to own up to it. Jerri, for example. When she decided to embrace her villainous she was a fan favorite again... a far cry from being booed off the stage at the reunion show. Then there's the little underdog that is often times on the receiving end of the bullying that everyone loves. For example, Sierra. How could you not love Sierra? How could you not love Sugar in Gabon? How can you not love Cochran? .. and then there's Whitney. You can't be both, Whitney. You either have to be the bully or the victim. You can't be both. We watched her tribe for the first half of the game completely isolate Cochran, and yes, he was the victim. Unlike Sierra and Sugar he didn't pout around, he took his fate into his own hands and switched things up. Now the funny part about this is, when he does it, he's suddenly the bully and everyone else is being "villified" Its not called villified. Its called karma.

The complete attitude change of Ozzy was the most hilarious thing I have ever seen in my life. I will say Ozzy is a great physical player but he's probably one of the most boring people I've ever witnessed on Survivor and I honestly can't see what everyone else seems to like in him. Watching Jim go from the cockiest player to the outs was quite hilarious! (now let me say, i like Jim. he's entertaining. villain or hero, i don't care, as long as you're entertaining) Whitney & Keith have been separated and I swear you would think you just stomped a kitten right in front of her face. I wonder how Elyse feels about the whole situation? Yeah, remember her? The girl you lied to. She probably thinks its karma too.

This is clearly a tribe full of recruits with minimal knowledge on the show but lets look back on the past... most recently.. Tocantins - Taj, Stephen, & JT came into the merge 3 against.. well everyone else.. Samoa - Natalie, Russell, Mick came into the merge the last remaining members of their tribe... HvV- Russell & Parvati were on the outs from not only merge but DAY 1. They never once had more than 3 (danielle) people in their alliance and they both made it to the final 3. It doesn't matter if you have the numbers or not, if you have the strategy, you will succeed. Trust me when I say, making an outcast of everyone who doesn't have 6 pack abs and who look good in bikini isn't strategy. They did the same thing to Dawn & Papa Bear.. luckily for Dawn Cochran stepped up his game and got Elyse out and then they went on an immunity streak or she would be gone too. (let me say though, I LOVE Dawn. I don't see her as fake, I see her as a loyal mother with a bad strategy. She loves everyone and refuses to "lie" unfortunately for her, the people she's sticking with are bringing her down.) Now they're in the minority, instead of stepping their game up half of them continue trying to bully people around, and the other half mope around and shed some tears and feel the conviction of being the bad guy. Instead of saying "you know what, i'm sorry, you're right" you start to cry and say "i wasn't the bad guy, you making me look the bad guy!!" ...

Again, clearly they are recruits... Todd from China - greatest strategist (and villain) to ever play the game. Instead of lying, he came clean at tribal council.. what happens? he won! Don't lie about it, we all know you're lying. By lying you're only making them hate you more.


This is Whitney's Not-So-Oscar-Worthy performance (But I gotta hand it to her, its better than Ozzy's)




& now this is her on Facebook & Twitter.... you're not being "villified" Whitney. You're mean. You're a bully. You're self centered.. just admit to it. Either legitimately change, or own up to it.. because at this rate, you're not fooling anybody... & neither are the rest of the Savaii tribe.

• 

  Whitney Duncan

  Things that "Disgust" me...maybe I will write a song about it...
  
  1) Cochran... a.k.a Cockroach
  2) Judgmental people
  3) People that think Cochran's betrayal was "Smart"
  4) Pig on a Spit
  5) Upolu feeding each other
  6) People that have nothing better to do than to come to my facebook page & say stupid, mean things
  7) People that think I should not speak my mind
  8) People that think "reality" tv is actually "reality"
  9) People that think I am not playing the game because editing is not showing me
  10) Cochran playing "dress up" in Coach's jacket
  11) Muffins
  12) Upolu's hypocrisy
  13) The glare of the sun reflecting off of Cochran's white skin on the beach.
  14) Coach's tai chi
  15) The cream in Rick's beard carefully placed by Edna

• 

  Whitney Duncan

  Tough night..it's like living it all over again. At the end of the day, I must remember that it is a game & I had the time of my life. My dad said it best though..."I thought Cochran was supposed to be smart." haha He might've made the dumbest move ever. He wasn't picked on...that was just his sob story/excuse for being a weasel and flipping. :) fun times...

From Twitter:

whitneyduncan Whitney Duncan

My dad said, "I thought Cochran was supposed to be smart." haha

2 Nov Favorite Retweet Reply

whitneyduncan Whitney Duncan

Haha true. RT @Hugh310: Cockroach isn't trying to win the game, he's trying to earn his 'call me by my last name' stripes.

2 Nov

whitneyduncan Whitney Duncan

@

@CODplayer923 if u would have been there you would have been disgusted too. Christian or not. We r still humans.

2 Nov

whitneyduncan Whitney Duncan

How many blurs on my mouth tonight?! Like 3 I think. My mama's gonna wash my mouth out with soap, haha #survivor #sosorrymama

Not only all these rude comments, but recently a story (read it here) broke that she was married at the time of filming and cheated on her husband with fellow tribe mate, Keith. Surely with all the whining she's been doing about Cochran not staying loyal to a tribe, that has been nothing but mean spirited toward him, and that he's only known for 2 weeks, this isn't true... (not that i care if it is, i'm just saying.. people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.. atleast he had a million reasons for his backstabbing)

Now let me close by saying, I don't "not like" Whitney. (She's not my favorite, but thats because she's edited out of the show completely. I only used her because she's the one who broke down crying at tribal. I would say maybe her tribe was edited to appear so mean, but there's no editing department in charge of her facebook & tweets) I just find it funny when people try to be all woe as me. Whitney, Jim, Ozzy, Keith, and the rest of Savaii who refuses to admit it, yes, you're a villain. Get over it. Own up to it. Its just unfortunate that you're villain behavior is more "personal attacks" rather than "strategy" (Like Russell, Parvati, Cirie, Rob etc) and in a time in which the "it will get better" campaign is running strong you're really looking like idiots for isolating someone because they're different.... and yes, that's the definition of the word "bully".

Blindside, right?

"I used to get made fun of. I've not always been the dragon slayer"... is this guy for real??

Lets not waste time. We all know how I feel about the cast and the twist.. so lets just skip all the boring stuff and head straight to tribal council...

Purple Kelly Whitney has been going on a tirade about how upset she is with Cochran on Twitter and Facebook (for the record, I followed her long before Survivor.. as I've said repeatedly I've been a fan for a while... but either the editors hate her or she's better at singing than living) Bloggers and media outlets are reporting the "Revenge of the Nerd" was a flop and for someone supposed to be so smart he made a dumb move... apparently I watched a different show than everyone else.

Is Cochran great at the game of Survivor? no. Do I think Cochran is going to win? no. Do I enjoy watching him? yes. Do I hope he wins? yes.

I thought Cochran's move was great. Savaii can't bully this kid around for the first half of the game, put him down every single day, blatantly outcast him and isolate him from the tribe then expect him to put his neck on the line by drawing a rock and risk going home just to help them out and finish 6th. Time for another pop quiz..

Was Cochran's move brilliant? eh, no. Will it get him to the end? probably not. Was it horrible? not at all!

In that position you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You can stay loyal to a tribe that doesn't want you around or you can take a chance, switch alliances and hope for the best. It worked great for Erinn in Tocantins, why can't it work for Cochran? Its easy for viewers at home to be so quick to judge but keep in mind the players don't see the other tribe. They don't see confessionals. If I (and you would too) lived on a tribe with people who spent the first 20 days putting me down and I saw a chance at swapping to possibly be surrounded by people who like me, and want me, which would ultimately lead to me getting further, I would do it! I sure wouldn't draw rocks... and I can assure you Paschal English wouldn't either. Like he said last week, "I'm not here to be a hero. I'm here to play the game" I hope his tribe has learned a life lesson from this. You can't always ignore the ugly guys. Just because you're beautiful doesn't mean you can't use someone else's help.

Say what you want about the guy, you gotta admit he's a better at the game than what Ozzy is at acting. (seriously, that Redemption Island speech...)

As a fan of the show, this past week was the kind of stuff we like to see. So regardless if you think it was great or completely stupid, admit it, you're glad it happened.... and if you're one of those people who thinks it was a horrible move, you're wrong.

Yeah, because there's dragons roaming around everywhere...

I haven't blogged much this season because 1.) I'm not a fan of the twist [I hate to sound like a broken record, sorry] & 2.) The cast isn't all the exciting. In fact, next time Coach says his prayers he should thank God for Cochran, Jim & Brandon making this season worth watching...


Coach (you know, the one with the pony tail and ridiculous tattoos that preaches about integrity) is the kind of person who doesn't have friends. He has people who want to be his friend because he's that guy from that one show, but legitimately, he doesn't have friends. He's an 8 year old boy trapped in a 40 year old man's body. Now, don't get me wrong, that kind of behavior is great for reality tv, but as a person? There comes a time when you have to grow up, and for the normal person Coach's age, that time came 25 years ago.

His little cutesie fantasy land persona is kind of old. He was the kind of person that I just hated in Tocantins. Not hate to love, not love to hate, just hate. He was so annoying. He was a bully and extremely arrogant. Watching Coach 2.0 in Samoa was mildly entertaining. Not because I was a fan but watching him get eaten alive by the pros like Russell & Parvati. Watching him go from what he thought was King of the World his first time around and picking on Sierra like she was worthless. Watching his I'm holier than thou attitude completely get knocked down a few pegs watching him struggle to keep up with strategic villains and get outwitted by little Courtney. He's the kind of guy not used to the little girl fighting back. (I love Courtney by the way) Seeing him brought back for a third time, without the professionals is a sad reminder that he's not changed. He's still the same ol guy who lies until he doesn't even know whats real anymore. He talks just to hear his own voice.

Now let me start by saying, I'm not a fan of Christine, but I really hope she survives the next RI duel and goes head to head with Coach. When he has people doubt him and confront him he starts to crumble. He doesn't know how to handle it. That is entertainment. I mean the guy is old enough to be a grandpa and refers to himself as The Dragon Slayer.. His blatant disrespect for Jesus and mockery of prayer in last night's episode was ridiculous! The only thing more ridiculous than Coach at this point is Ozzy's braided pig tails.

Which by the way, I would love to say... Ozzy's move has potential to be a great one! If he had a strategic bone in his body, and Christine was the kind of girl to make the moves he's assuming she will, it would be a great one. But he's just an idiot. The cards may fall into place for this to be a great mastermind move, and I'm sure he'll take credit for it if it does, but let be honest.. He's about as great of a player as Coach is a person.

Redemption....

Is it possible we can put the whole concept of Survivor on Redemption Island somewhere? You know, to redeem the show and take it back to what it used to be?

I thought by the cast reveal and reading bios this would be a pretty good season. Yeah, its pretty much dull just like the last one. I wish there was a reality competition where the winner got to be in charge of the show for one whole season. Sign me up! What Survivor needs to redeem itself:

1.) An interesting cast. I don't mind recruits what I mind is boring recruits. Very few people are funny, interesting, relatable, AND pretty. I get that you're casting people to be on an island for 39 days and you need something to look at in a bikini and trunks, but c'mon... where do you find these people? Interesting people don't shop at Whole Foods stores. Fun personalities don't spend their day laying on the beaches of Malibu.. Target your audience. Relatable people aren't 23 and drunk in a bar somewhere.. You're not going to find a die hard villain willing to do anything to win if they have no desire to be there. They have to want it. Here's a few little pointers to how this show can redeem itself with casting:

• Cast TWO villains. One for each tribe. That way there is chaos on both sides so that no one tribe gets all the air time.
  
• Separate the old & young. Don't put 2 old folks with a tribe full of 7 young kids. 9 times outta 10 the old guys are the interesting ones and can REALLY play the game if they only had a chance.
  
• We need a villain, a hero, a gamer (which you have in Cochran, so kudos for that I guess) 1 floater (ONLY ONE! you need someone who will be easily manipulated to help with the upper hand. We don't need a repeat of Samoa. Only one) a black woman (sorry if i sound racist but you know what i mean) someone great in challenges (again, only 1! its fun to wait and see if they're finally gonna get voted out. its not fun to see 3 of them band together and form an alliance and run the show to create a predictable season) a flirt, a hillbilly, a gay guy, an old lady, a tomboy, a nutjob.
• If you're going to recruit, go to a rodeo. go to a gaming/sci-fi convention, go to a concert (and i don't mean adele or michael buble.. i mean an interesting concert!. nothing against those guys, but lets face it.. they're too "classy" classy and sophisticated are boring) find us a good down home southerner, a nerd who obsesses and over analyzes every little move, a fun free spirited person who is kind of clueless to the world and makes off the wall dumb comments.
  

If Cochran & Brandon are voted out soon this season will be unwatchable. I don't particularly like either of them, but they are fun to watch. Brandon is the kind of the guy that will shoot up a school full of kids and then blame it on the voices in his head. Cochran is the kind of guy who won't necessarily argue with you, but will spend 45 minutes explaining why he's right. Its that kind of delusion that makes a great show. I think Mikayla will come into it a little later on.. but aside from those 3 there's not really a whole lot look forward to on Wednesday nights. & this twist!! lord, this twist is horrible! i beg you to not do another Redemption Island! If you insist on a twist let me give you a few good ideas.. from a fans point of view. & just so you know, i've been a fan since season one.. I never thought I would see the day I didn't watch Survivor.. but that day came last season and this current one isn't doing much to make me change my mind. Try VETS vs Newbies or Brains vs Brawn. Bring back that kidnapping twist from Pearl Islands where the winning tribe gets to save someone from tribal, send two people from each tribe to exile at the same time and hope for a cross tribal alliance or something. Give them the opportunity for a mutiny.. we don't need redemption island to give someone the shot at letting them stay in the game. If they're in trouble or you want to give them a second shot, let them do what Candace did. Give them the shot to live alone and form their own tribe. Stephenie lived alone and survived just fine.

I read Jeff's analysis of the cast and his exact words about Semhar was "She's gone." that was my first thought reading her bio and watching her interview too! She said in a realitytvworld.com interview that she didn't apply to be on the show.. If the first impression people are getting from her is "She's gone" what makes you think she would be good enough to cast on the show in the first place!? There's a reason the season finale of Australian Outback drew in 30 million viewers.. and no its not just because the show was new and fresh. Its because you cast a relatable group of people. You cast an old lady who climbed on a limb above flood waters to get a canteen of rice. That rice was all they had! They didn't live on a beach where they could fish, they had to have that rice! You cast a 50 year old man who couldn't swim and forced him to jump off a 100 ft cliff! You cast a young lovable wholesome little blonde who captured the hearts of America as an underdog (with the exception of Sierra you guys haven't been able to do this sense. There's a difference in the girl next door and the girl who makes her way around the block) You forced a vegetarian to compete in a "take a chance and spin this wheel you might have to eat meat" competition. You had the boy wonder, you had the villainous, you had the over eccentric tatted up old lady, you had the big personality "I-will-always-wave-my-finger-in-your-face" black girl.. the casting, the location, the whole show was great! There was no lame twist, the age differences were scattered, the tribes were divided evenly, we had the relatable, we had the hero, we had the villain, we had the lovable, we had the "hate to love" we had the delusion, we had the unpredictable.. it was a great season.

Take us back to that. Survivor is slipping in the ratings year after year, and there's a lot that can be done to fix it. Just do it. If you can't, hire me. I'll do it for you.

Survivor 23: Redemption Island - Cast Reveal - 1st Impressions

The 16 newbies for Survivor 23: RI was revealed earlier today. And I gotta say, the cast looks far more interesting than last season. Hopefully they're more interesting than the last guys and can actually make this twist worth watching... and as always I'm here with a 1st impressions blog.



Now just in case you guys haven't read my past blogs (you should) Since I have been writing them, I've never been wrong with my first impressions!.. EVER. [I predicted Holly to be last the last of the old guys standing in Nicaragua, Parvati & Russell to make it to the end of HvV, Francesca to be the first out in S22.. just a few examples.. so who needs spoilers when you got the expertise of myself!]

There are red teams and blue teams (I'm sure the tribe names will be revealed later when the returning castaways are.. but for now I have to refer to them as Red & Blue.. but lets be honest you probably couldn't pronounce the tribe names anyway until you heard Jeff say them)

Basically, just know there's 16 of these guys, but I'll introduce you to the ones that matter.. and they are:

Whitney (Red Team)
- She's hot, young, athletic, southern... She's gonna have that southern drawl which will make her a stand out for the viewers, she's gonna have that country living experience which will make her not afraid to get her hands dirty, she's gonna have that beautiful girl - fun living personality which will make her fit in with all the girls, and will make all the guys love her. She kinda reminds me of Sydney from Tocantins... yes, down to the time of her elimination from the game. Her looks, personality, and attitude can only get her so far. If her tribe continuously loses, there's gonna be a time when they have no other choice to get rid of her. I predict she'll finish last before the merge, or first after.

Rick (Blue Team)
- He won the Sears online fan video auditions. He's 51 and looks like he was built for this show. He's the cookie cutter mold of what a Survivor should be. I don't think he'll last as long as he should tho. He's gonna fall victim to being the "old guy" He's gonna form his alliance with all these young athletic guys on his team and he's gonna have this wonderful plan to "school" them and show them how its done... They're all gonna be too caught up in the things that don't matter, they're gonna be immature and he's gonna have them wrapped around his finger doing his dirty work... except there's one little problem..

and her name is Mikayla.

Mikayla (Blue Team)
- A 21 year old Playboy cover model. Lets be honest, the girl couldn't survive a day in a tent by herself. But she's on a nationally syndicated television show being watched by millions and she's fame hungry, so she's gonna tough it out. She's in a bikini surrounded by men who are on a deserted island for 39 days. The women are gonna hate her, but that doesn't matter because the men are going to love her. She'll have them by the balls and have them eating out of her hand. She seems like she's going to be weak as crap at challenges, but she's gonna pull off some schemes that would put Russell Hantz to shame. What she wants, she'll get. I predict she'll finish in the finals. Will she win? not likely, but don't expect her to be just a blimp on the map like Natalie from last season.

Keith (Red Team)- Picture Fabio, only not as stupid. This is my take on him. He seems very naive and dependent. I expect him to have a strong alliance, and do well. He'll more than likely be edited to be the stand out of that alliance (ie. Fabio, Chase, JT) but lets be honest, he's only going to do well because he's unaware of whats going on and will just be floating by on what he's instructed to do.

Jim (Red Team)
- & we have our villain! Don't get too excited. He's not gonna be hardcore entertainment like Na Onka, an excellent strategist like Russell, or even a witty confessional like Courtney.. picture him more so a cross between the delusion of Coach & the annoying arrogance of Jean-Robert. He may have a couple people believe what he's telling them for the first couple of days, but he doesn't strike me as someone who will be able to pull it off.. especially with as many young hot women on this cast. Lets face it, a woman in a bikini with a good head on her shoulders can get a man to do whatever she wants...

Elyse (Red Team)
- Elyse is the red teams version of Mikayla. Whitney will be the little angel on the men's left shoulder and Elyse will be the devil on the right... and nice guys always finish last. Elyse is a stand out for me as an early favorite. She's definitely hell on heels and I for one can't wait to see what she's capable of. I don't expect her to be this excellent strategist or know a lot about the game of Survivor itself but I do expect she knows a lot about manipulating people into giving her what she wants. Its outwit, outplay, outlast... she may not be able to outplay in the challenges, but based on her looks and bio I would definitely say she's no stranger in the outwit department. However, because of this, expect her to go home mid jury. (picture Ami circa Vanuatu)

Sophie (Blue Team)
- Sophie has all the makings to do well in this game, but lets face it. She won't. She reminds me of Alina (Nicaragua). She knows the game, she'd be a great strategist, but she sucks at life. It doesn't matter how well you perform in challenges, you have to have the ability to fit in. She's a social outcast. The men won't connect her, the women will sit on the beach and talk about her behind her back. She'll go and cry in a confessional. She'll have the epiphany a few weeks in that she's smarter than her whole tribe combined but unfortunately won't have the numbers to be able to do anything about it. They'll be a whole episode dedicated to her struggle of whether or not she can pull it off, but ultimately she'll fail and will be sent packing.

*One to watch - John (Red Team)



My predictions for first out are:

Semhar (Red Team)
- As if the name Semhar doesn't explain it enough..

Dawn (Red Team)
- She's the only old lady on the cast. Older men can survive when there's an age gap because lets face it, men are better than women. Old men are either A:) Perverted or B:)Hilarious. Either way they're social. Old women are either A:) Bitchy or B:) sympathetic/motherly/annoying.. they don't fit in.. unless they're surrounded by other old women.

Edna (Blue Team)
- Who knew they still made people named Edna?.. She strikes me as the type of person who has built a life out of being different. She seems like she thinks she's better than everyone else, smarter than everyone else, and at the same time clueless to the game of Survivor. She may do well in challenges, but she won't do well at camp.




**but regardless of who goes home first, they always have the chance to come back (lame, i know)

Survivor: South Pacific's 90 minute premiere on Sept. 14th at 8pm on CBS

for future reference...

this blog is dedicated to ol' Jeff Probst, Mark Burnett & Lynne Spillman and anyone else associated with Survivor. relax folks, i'm not bashing you, I'm just, as a fan, pleading to you! I'm a HUGE fan of the show. I have been since day one...

ahh day one. Remember the days? the great wheel of food that gave poor little elisabeth a snickers, that forced vegetarian Kimmy to eat a sea slug. The challenges that made Roger jump off a cliff in a crocodile infested waters that he couldn't even swim in. The cast like Tina who would go out on a limb, literally, above raging flood waters just to salvage her food. The days of interesting cast members who would drain their water out of elephant dung just to drink it, who would strip naked for peanut butter & chocolate. The seasons where you had to build a wall of thorns and couldn't sleep from fear of becoming food for the lions. That great moment of television where you witnessed them eat a rat for the first time and the only extra food they got was a can of dog food (cruel, cbs, that was cruel) Back when the major twist wasn't really game changing but more entertaining. A male vs female tribe.. nothing silly like a redemption island or a repeated over the top number of hidden immunity idols. Back when there was more than just one person per season who understood the game and knew what it took to win, where you was on the edge of your seat each week and nothing was predictable.. yeah those days.

IF, and i hope you don't, but IF you must have twists like Redemption Island. IF you just absolutely have to bring back a survivor for the third time in 4 seasons... bring back people who are interesting. bring back unpredictable. bring back entertainment. Now don't get me wrong, i love Russel, he's one of my favorites, but once you've seen him play once, you've seen play a million times. It was great watching him pull the wool over the eyes of newbies and then once again with the vets in HvV but its lame now. lets not bring him back. If you want to pit the best against the best, put two people against each other that we want to see. Jenna vs Ethan. They both deserve that second chance. Jenna's 2nd shot was cut short and with everything Ethan has been through you can't really blame her for turning down HvV, but he's on the mend (thank God) why not put the two of them against each other as team captains? Sash vs Brenda! from the F3 in Nicaragua, Sash deserved it! Brenda deserved her 2nd chance.. Why not those two as team captains? Erik vs JT.. both made HUGE blunders their season why not give them a shot for redemption. Heck I wouldn't even mind seeing a battle of wit & sarcasm between Courtney & Tyson.. doubtful that will happen but it will be more entertaining than Rob vs Russell.

Probst, I understand you're smitten kitten with Boston Rob, but admit it dude. He failed miserably in S4. He outwitted Lex, Big Tom, Shii Ann in All Stars (congrats? i think...) Parvati & Russell chewed him up and ate him alive in HvV, and he outwitted a bunch of recruits who didn't know the first thing about the show on last nights finale... (and spare me, you have a better shot at convincing me Sandra is a deserving winner than you do at trying to tell me that whole cast of RI had ever watched a single episode of the show prior to being cast) As a fan, yes Natalie is nice to look at in a bikini but for every Natalie i'm sure there's a Parvati. Someone whose nice to look at AND fun to watch! I think I speak for all fans when I say give us a Sue, give us a Tina, a KY Joe, a Kathy, a Cirie!! When divided by age Jane had a chance, had it been a no twist season she would have been just like Sandy Burgin and out a forgettable 4th. WE LOVE PEOPLE WE CAN RELATE TO! Its people like KY Joe that turn people like Purple Kelly into people like Elisabeth! If the cast is diverse, if there's no lame twist, the bland become sweet. they become innocent. they become lovable and so they fall into the mix and fit perfectly. But when you have 1 Richard Hatch to 17 Kelly Sharbaugh's... its kind of impossible to make a good season out of it.... regardless of how many Coach & Phillips you can throw into the mix!

Basically, if you're going to ruin a good thing with a lame twist, atleast give us someone to root for!

Worst Season EVER

..... and just an FYI, when you read the "ever" at the end you have to say it as an echo repeating in a large tunnel of doom otherwise you don't get the full effect.

I've watched Survivor religiously since I was just a wee little tot. My grandma used to make me watch the Rosie O'Donnell show with her back in the day (hey, she did have pretty cool desks there for a while, remember the hamster wheel desk? anyone? anyone? no.. ) and I remember her talking about this show called Survivor that was coming on. Back then it was on Wednesdays too, and I decided to tune in. Stacy Stillman ate this larvae bug and I was like "HOLY Sh%!" (yes, it was edited like that too! I was only like 10!) and I've been hooked ever since. (althought I am glad her & Bryant Gumball stopped doing the reunion shows) I remember my freshman year at MSU I even selected my classes around the show. Thursdays were full of parties on campus, but not for me. I was in my dorm on the bottom bunk watching Survivor.

I think its no secret I'm not a fan of Boston Rob. I never have been, never will be. I don't understand the hype around him. He sucks. (read my past blogs) He's a little whinesack suckbaby who cries until he gets his way who for some unknown reason the world thinks he's this big genius because he outwitted Lex in season 8. (btw, if you can't outwit Lex, i'm sorry) So when I seen that Redemption Island was pitting two of the best Survivor's to ever play the game against each other I was all like SWEET BABY JESUS!!! Whose it gonna be? Russell? Stephenie? Parvati? Todd? Yul? Sash? Brenda? Holly? so you can imagine the heartbreak when womp womp wommmmmmmppp it was Rob. The only outwitting this dumb sonuvabitch has done was outwitting Jeff Probst to give him a bottle of water in Heroes vs Villains! Probst has a major hard on for the guy. I tuned into episode one and saw this shitfest and I just couldn't take it anymore. For the first time in 10 years I haven't watched the show. Which leads me to the point of my blog...

This is the worst season ever. The twist is lame. The cast is lame. The whole concept of Rob being considered one of the greatest is lame... We've had some pretty sketchy things happen over the past 11 years, but this one has topped them all. So since I haven't blogged this season (because I haven't watched it) I decided to to write one last blog with the finale being this weekend and rank the seasons. (btw, based on my original cast assessments in my first blog pre-season, 2 of my picks are at the end)

BEST TO WORST:

1.)Heroes vs Villains
2.)Australia
3.)Africa
4.)Tocantins
5.)Nicaragua
6.)Amazon
7.)Borneo
8.)China
9.)Micronesia
10.)Pearl Islands
11.)Gabon
12.)Panama
13.)Guatemala
14.)Cook Islands
15.)All Stars
16.)Vanuatu
17.)Marquesas
18.)Palau
19.)Samoa
20.)Thailand
21.)Fiji
22.)Redemption Island

ROB vs RUSSELL

well for some reason Jeff Probst (and Jeff i think you're great, but you know its the truth!) thinks the sun shines right out of Boston Rob's tail so he's been brought back for a 4th time to disappo.. errr entertain us all. & 3 times in 4 seasons is a little much regardless of how much you love Russell (and i do love Russell! he's one of the best..) but too much of a good thing can be bad. but with the premiere next week i figured it was time to give my analysis on the two and who i predict to outlast...


Since Russell is the newest to play the game out of the two i'll start with Rob:

BOSTON ROB
Rob was on season 4 and he performed amazing!... amazingly poor that is! he laid around on the beach all day with Sarah and had this genius idea to create a hot tub out of the raft. in episode two the cast had to bob for fafaru (basically spoiled fish is what it was) and eat it.. if memory serves me correct he completely bombed & lost that challenge for his tribe. in fact his tribe lost all but one challenge pre-merge & he was a pre jury boot. nothing really that great about him stood out.

then came All Stars... All Stars happened about 3 years too early in my opinion. Season 10 should have been All Stars. there weren't enough great people to make up an All Star cast... thus leading to the casting of folks like Rob, Shii Ann, Amber, Big Tom, Alicia... & because all of those people were either weak, stupid or did poorly on their original season they were not seen as a threat this time around and lasted quite a bit. With Hatch, Colby, Ethan, Tina all out early & Jenna Morasca's leaving (the only person so far in the game who i feel has a justifiable reason for leaving. [i won't refer to her as a quitter]) that left a bunch of weak people to fight it out for the million dollar prize. (i will say Kathy was the only great player who did well in All Stars) & when you're up against the likes of Lex & Big Tom its not that difficult to outsmart someone. I'm sorry, but its not. He still lost by the way, but he finished a respectable 2nd place.. but lets not kid ourselves, it was because he wasn't seen as a threat therefore he wasn't the target.

Heroes Vs. Villains... apparently falling head over heels for a girl in a bikini & lying to Lex makes you a villain. So instead of Shane Powers, instead of Jonny Fairplay, instead of Todd Herzog (who is arguably the biggest mastermind to EVER play the game) Rob gets cast. Rob has a 7-3 majority alliance. he's destined to win this season. he has weak ass courtney, weak ass sandra in his alliance. everyone hates Parvati.. he has the majority on his side. no way he can lose... well he lost. not only does he lose (and is once again a pre-jury boot) he passes out and begins crying (right after making fun of Coach for crying, i might add) and gets water! seriously! they give this cry baby water! he refused to search for a hidden immunity idol because they weren't in the game when he played the first time.. well guess what Rob, the game has changed. you either adapt or you get voted out.. if you were a good player you would have adapted, and not gotten voted out! your loss.

RUSSELL
Russell started on Survivor Samoa. He made an alliance with EVERY SINGLE PERSON on his tribe. they knew about it. when one person wised up and wanted to get rid of him he voted them out.. and he repeated this tactic all the way to the final tribal council. its like that saying fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me... well whats to be said if you get fooled 17 times? because thats exactly what happened! he promised them each day after day after day and they all went to tribal after tribal after tribal with him and saw that he was telling nothing but lie after lie after lie and they STILL believed him and kept him around!

unlike some other folks (sandra, danielle, candice, rob...) Russell earned his spot on Heroes Vs Villains. (note: wtf was Cirie doing on the heroes tribe?) and went from a 3 person minority alliance all the way to the final 3 once again... with one of the members of his minority alliance! and once again he told lie after lie after lie and they believed him each one. Sandra swore up and down all the way to Jesus & back she would never vote with him.. yet she did, week after week. How are people so stupid to not get rid of him! granted they didn't see him play in Samoa so he wasn't a target right away but by week 3 he was on everyone's radar & still finished as a finalist for the million dollars.

which leads me to Redemption Island...



ROB vs RUSSELL
i'd love to say they'd be a fool to keep Russell around.. but he's proven time and time again he knows how to make a fool of someone so i wouldn't be surprised to see him go far in this game again. Will he make it to final tribal council? ... eh, i don't think they're that big of fools (or atleast i hope not) Rob will more than likely perform mediocre at challenges and stay somewhere in the middle. not the biggest threat, not the weakest link so he'll go pretty far. especially if he makes the merge. once it becomes an individual game.. lets not kid ourselves, i've already provided you with the facts.. he sucks. so he'll go even further. kinda like Uncle Dan in Nicaragua. He's someone you can beat cause everyone hates him cause he's Boston Rob.. he's weak & out of shape, so he's easy to beat in challenges... i think he'll go far. i see him finishing 4th or 5th. i say this because usually the last challenge on Survivor is endurance and 9 times outta 10 a woman will win it and the majority of women on Survivor (minus Jenna M, Parvati & Stephenie) are pretty stupid and they'll stay loyal to their stereotypical college football player turned Survivor castaway that they're destined to lose against.. & lets be honest, he looks like shit & couldn't charm the panties off noone but Amber... but hey, you should never trust anyone from a town that doesn't know a vowel when they need one (look it up)..

I do think Rob will outlast Russell but its not because of skill.. its once again (like All Stars) based on ability & performance in the past...

Survivor: Redemption Island

The cast of Survivor: Redemption Island was revealed this morning... well all but two former castaways that will be returning.. hrmm... wonder who that could be?

so meet the cast and find out my predictions for first boots & the last one standing... (keep in mind that my first blog from last season predicted Wendy Jo to the be the 1st to go, Holly to be the last old person standing, & Chase in the finale.... so i'm pretty good at this junk)

the cast includes:

The eight first-time members of the Ometepe tribe are:

- Andrea Boehlke, a 21-year-old former U.S. Marine from Random Lake, WI

- Matt Elrod, a 22-year-old pre-med student from Nashville, TN

- Francesca Hogi, a 36-year-old attorney from Washington, DC

- Kristina Kell, a 46-year-old law student from Malibu, CA

- Grant Mattos, a 29-year-old yoga instructor from West Hollywood, CA

- Phillip Sheppard, a 52-year-old technology executive from Santa Monica, CA

- Natalie Tenerelli, a 19-year-old professional dancer from Acton, CA

- Ashley Underwood, a 25-year-old nurse and former Miss Maine USA from Benton, ME

The eight first-time members of the Zapatera tribe are:

- Mike Chiesl, a 31-year-old student from Del Mar, CA

- Ralph Kiser, a 44-year-old farmer from Lebanon, VA

- Krista Klumpp, a 25-year-old pharmaceutical representative from Columbia, SC

- David Murphy, a defense attorney from West Hollywood, CA

- Stephanie Valencia, a 25-year-old waitress from Long Beach, CA

- Sarita White, a 36-year-old visual effects producer from Santa Monica, CA

- Julie Wolfe, a 50-year-old firefighter from Oceanside, CA

- Steve Wright, a 51-year-old former NFL player from Huntington, CA


Which tribe Rob & Russell will be placed on remains to be seen.. and it could impact my placement predictions big time because they both have two very different strategies so with that in mind here are my predictions:

For 1st/early boots i predict Francesca: lets face it, young african american women are divas. they're bitchy, they're hateful, they're demanding, and unless she gets lucky like Na Onka & her tribe is completely divided and she ends up in the majority of that divide she's a goner... but for every Na Onka there are 3 Yazmine's..



I also predict Julie to be an early boot. I think Julie will be hilarious, most older women on Survivor are, but i don't think she'll last. There's no old vs young twist to save her this time like Jane had so she'll fall victim like Sandy from Tocantins and we'll lose a possible fan favorite too early.

i wouldn't be surprised to see Phillip go early either... again, i don't mean to sound racist when i say this, but Jerry, Tyrone.... older black men last about as long as younger black women on the show... I could see Phillip going first too.



my predictions for those who go deep in the game.. i would love to say Russell, because lets face it, he is pretty much amazing. love him or hate him, admit it there has NEVER been a player like Russell.. but i highly doubt anyone would be dumb enough to let him get anywhere near the end this time around.. but hey, who knows.

Young attractive women always do well (even Purple Kelly did decent) and this season has plenty of them, the issue is deciding which ones are Parvati Shallow & Jenna Morasca and which ones are Ashley Trainer & Tanya Vance...

Natalie, i can see her in the final 3. I can see her being in an alliance with a strong male and sailing all the way to the end... however she's only 19. I find it hard to believe someone her age will have the maturity to do well in the game. She strikes me more of someone who would rather tan and provide us with stupid one liners (i.e. "they get to milk their own milk!") but hey, being completely useless & weak has won one Natalie the game in the past.. and she too was Russell's puppet.. could we see Natalie 2.0?? i wouldn't be surprised if we did.

I think Ashley will do well in the game also... in fact i will go out on a limb now and say Ashley is my prediction to win this game. She looks great in a bikini. She looks more in shape than just skinny. She's a nurse. She's smart. She's a beauty queen. She has beauty & brains. She's small which means she'll come in handy in "those" challenges.. all Survivor fans know the ones i'm talking about. the one where you have to lift someone over a wall or carry someone on your shoulders or hoist someone up, that combined with her physicality (ultimately her ability to actually perform well in "those" challenges) and her brains to strategize makes her a huge threat... but with Rob & Russell both in the game she'll go unnoticed and, i think, go all the way to the end.

I expect Mike to make it to the end of the game too. He strikes me as Colby, Mick, Chase... he's that guy. he just looks like that likable guy. He's in shape. The men on his tribe are gonna love him for his strength. The women are gonna love him for his dimples. He's gonna have that James/Parvati Erik/Natalie Brenda/Chase connection with one of the girls and he's going to go smooth sailing all the way to the end.. will he win? ... well did Colby? did Mick? did Chase?

Those are my predictions for early boots & final 3...

now for what i like to call my "honorable mentions"...

Ralph, Matt, Krista, David ... and throw in Rob & Russell too... will finish mid jury.

Steve, Sarita, Andrea... i predict them all to be pre-merge boots....

now this is just based on cast photos & bios, once the show airs i'm sure my opinion will change. we'll have to wait & see...

whats your predictions?